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By Meredith Ethington

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Inspiration Motherhood Parenting Perfection

The Important Notification You Might Be Missing

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I heard a story once in church about a teenage girl visiting her family’s house for a family party. Her phone was about to die, so she plugged it in, in another room. She went back to the other side of the house to visit with a room full of cousins. The house was noisy, and there were lots of little kids running around. It was not easy to keep track of who was where, or even who was saying what.

After a few minutes, there was a tiny notification noise on her phone, still plugged in. She bounded in from the other room, grabbed her phone, checked it out, responded, and went back to her fun with cousins. The adults that were in the kitchen talking, where her phone was plugged in, were amazed that she could hear that tiny notification alert on her phone despite all the chaos.

She was tuned into that notification alert in a way tailor made for her. The people that were actually in the room with her phone barely heard it. But, the teenager? She heard it because that noise was high on her priority list.

I hate to admit that I can hear a text message from a room away, when I have 3 kids under my feet whining about being hungry. I frequently drop everything to go see what it is. Who it is. And, respond. Even when most of the time, it’s not life-threatening, or even urgent.

I’ve thought about that story a lot since I heard it. I’ve thought about what I’m most in-tune with. Is it my phone? The FB feed? Or the people around me? Do I listen to the most important notification alerts in my life?

As a Mom, there is a barrage of “noise” in my head at all times. I’m frequently thinking about everything from the important to the mundane. There is always a list going on in there. There are always notification alerts that I’m filtering in real life, and in my head.

What am I going to make for dinner? 

Did I pay that bill for the doctor’s visit last month? 

I need to switch the laundry before it gets moldy. 

I need to talk to A about the friend situation at school. 

I need to make sure the baby gets some undivided attention today. 

I need a shower. 

Don’t forget to call your Mom back. 

What’s that smell?

It’s constant, and it’s overwhelming. Yet, those things? They’re not the most important things. They aren’t the notifications we’re missing.

What’s most important is what is happening right inside our homes. Inside the hearts of our little people.

What's Most Important is What is Happening Right Inside Our Homes. Inside the Hearts of Our Little People.

The notification alerts we might be missing are quiet and if we don’t pay attention we might not hear them. They are tailor made for us, too, but we have to be ready and waiting for them.

The other day, my oldest was having a melt down every 5 minutes. She was whining and crying, and so obviously tired. I was busy. I had lots of “alerts” going off in my brain, and her melt downs were making me more agitated. I sighed, as I stared at the computer trying to make my brain focus on the work I was doing. She cried because she was hungry, then tired, then frustrated. It was non-stop. And, I had a little moment there where something told me, Stop what you’re doing and focus on her.

I got up from my desk, grabbed her hand, walked into the other room and sat down with her on the couch. I told her something that made her laugh, and she laid in my lap as I played with her hair. We had a moment of really seeing each other. We took a moment to breathe each other in. I studied her bright blue eyes and freckles as she looked out the window and we had a moment. Nothing life changing, but it was a moment.

Another such notification happened when my 3yo was hovering over my work space. Talking, interrupting, and trying to get into my lap. The more he tried for my attention, the more frustrated I became, until I focused in on that quiet notification. Get up and go outside. I told him we were going on a walk to hunt for rocks. He didn’t stop talking the entire time. My heart watched his little tiny hands point things out. He declared, “The flowers are all growing up!” as he stopped to smell some.

I heard that notification, acted on it, and I was happy. And he was beyond thrilled, asking me to go on a walk the next day too.

This isn’t about perfection, though. Sometimes, we’re going to miss it. We won’t see the tiny light flashing right in front of us to let us know that there is a new message that needs to be heard. We will pass up the moment to soak each other up. Study their tiny faces and hands and notice a new freckle. We will have days where we miss it. It’s inevitable, because we’re imperfect.

Please, don’t forget that it’s OK to be imperfect. 

But, the important thing is that we are aware the notifications are out there waiting for us. And, we’re aware that sometimes we miss them. It’s up to us to be tuned in enough to hear them. Because every single one is tailor made like a ring tone, or text message alert.

The more we tune into those notifications and act on them, I believe the more we recognize it the next time. And, we’ll be like that teenager bounding in from the other room when she is notified that someone is waiting to tell her something. We’ll stop what we’re doing faster. We’ll listen more intently next time. And the better parents we will become.

Is there an important notification in your life that you’re currently missing? Listen. And, answer it next time.


20 Comments

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Comments

  1. Jennifer Groeber says

    April 1, 2015 at 7:06 am

    Wonderful post! I absolutely love this message. They are the most important notification!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      April 1, 2015 at 3:09 pm

      Absolutely. And, it’s easy to forget!

      Reply
  2. Janine Huldie says

    April 1, 2015 at 10:42 am

    This was so beautiful and so very true. I have been totally guilty of doing this with my own girls and you are right so essential that sometimes we just stop what we are doing to give importance to the subtle or not so subtle things right in front of us with our kids and family. Thanks for the reminder here today.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      April 1, 2015 at 3:09 pm

      Thanks Janine. 🙂

      Reply
  3. Kristen says

    April 1, 2015 at 2:38 pm

    I wrote a comment on your Facebook page but YES! I needed to read this…you’ve re-affirmed that I totally need to slow down in life and just be there for the kids! Love this so much sharing on my FB page and pinning and stumbling.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      April 1, 2015 at 3:09 pm

      Thanks Kristen. You are AWESOME! I loved your post today too. 🙂

      Reply
  4. lAUREN says

    April 1, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    Such a great post! We all need to remind ourselves about the important things.. loved this.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      April 1, 2015 at 3:09 pm

      Thanks so much! And, thanks for stopping by! 🙂

      Reply
  5. Roshni says

    April 2, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    This reminds me that as children, even negative attention is thought to be better than no attention at all! Because, the sad part, as you so rightly pointed out, is that we only focus on the notifications that scream for our attention and we then miss out on the silent ones!

    Reply
  6. Jenny @ Unremarkable Files says

    April 4, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    I love the story from church, I’ll have to remember that one. Sometimes I have trouble tuning in to pretty much anything, unless it happens to smell like brownies baking, and then I am right there with you!

    Reply
  7. Katie says

    April 5, 2015 at 10:06 am

    This wa a ‘perfecty written’ post! Thanks for the reminder of what is most important in life. Somet I mes that little “this is eternal, pay attention” light gets pushed away for less important things.I really loved your post. Thanks!

    Reply
  8. Sarah @ Thank You Honey says

    April 13, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    OMG yes! Hits home with me especially the slowing down. Nothing shows you that like a fractured foot.

    Reply
  9. Carin Kilby Clark says

    April 13, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    I absolutely love this <3

    Reply
  10. Jill says

    April 14, 2015 at 5:08 am

    Such a great (and jarring) message. I am so tuned in to the beeps on my phone that I’m sure I miss important “beeps” coming from my small humans.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      April 14, 2015 at 4:57 pm

      Me too. But, it helps to start being more aware of it. I know how awesome of a mom you are!

      Reply
  11. Kristi Campbell says

    April 14, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    I love this so much, Meredith! Truly truly love it. I know exactly what you mean, too. Trying to get things done – it’s so easy to get frustrated. But those small moments, a walk outside, a snuggle on a couch – they’re what we’ll remember and hang on to. Not whether we finished a project at 2pm or 4pm. Such a great and beautiful reminder. I’m so glad to have read this tonight!!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      April 14, 2015 at 4:57 pm

      Thanks for your sweet comment Kristi. As always. xoxo

      Reply
  12. Nicole Dash says

    April 15, 2015 at 8:34 am

    What a wonderful reminder. I am also guilty of never missing a text, but ignoring some of the other more important signs. Great post!

    Reply
  13. Tarana says

    April 16, 2015 at 11:53 am

    I am so guilty of hearing my notifications despite any noise! But what you wrote is true – when kids behave differently, it’s usually a call for attention.

    Reply
  14. Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says

    April 16, 2015 at 5:56 pm

    Love this! I am definitely guilty of ignoring the important notifications sometimes. Thanks for the reminder!

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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