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Humor Motherhood Parenting

20 Murphy’s Laws For Moms

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Yesterday, I had an UBER productive day. Washed the car. Cleaned the bathrooms. Mopped the floors. Which means, that in true Murphy’s Law fashion, I woke up in a major funk this morning, and think I will lay around the house all day and “forget” to shower.

There are just a few things that you CAN count on as parents, and Murphy’s Law is definitely a thing. Here are 20 things that are bound to happen because…well, little people are really controlling everything.

murphy's Laws for moms

1. You haven’t vacuumed in two weeks, so of COURSE your in-laws will surprise you with a visit.

2. You mopped. So, the 5yo will spill a giant vat of syrup on the floor.

3. You put on a full-face of make-up, cute necklace, and even top it off with fixing your hair, and you will for sure run into no one you know.

4. You clean your bathrooms, so someone will start throwing up that night.

5. You leave your house for a quick errand since the kids have been sick all week, and you forget to change the shirt that has a tiny bit of throw up on it. And, you see your arch nemesis from high school dressed like she just stepped out of a Pottery Barn Kids Catalog with her three perfectly groomed children.

6. You run into an ex-boyfriend, and you realize you didn’t brush your teeth this morning.

7. You look like the walking dead, and are fixing hot dogs and mac and cheese for dinner when your husband says a co-worker is just popping in for a minute after work.

8. Your kids sleep through the night and you get up to pee 3 times.

9. You’re actually going to be on-time to something, and the littlest declares, “I stinky” while the middle child reminds you he can’t find his shoes.

10. You get to go out to eat with a girlfriend, and get seated next to a family with 5 kids.

11. You fix yourself a nice giant bowl of ice cream, and your 3yo pokes your tummy and says, “Is there a baby in there?”

12. You clean out your car, and the neighbor kid pukes in it.

13. You are patient all morning, but your kid decides to destroy something by mid-afternoon.

14.  You just organized the playroom. Just as you see the minivans rolling up in front of your house. It’s your turn for playgroup.

15. You lay down on the couch for a quick 5 min. snooze, and jr. yells from the other room, “MOM! Wipe my bum please!”

16. You decide that you have time to run a quick errand before the kids get home from school, and you lock your keys in your car.

17. You finally get on vacation, and a kid tells you his throat feels weird.

18. You fix the 2yo 18 breakfasts and he still wants what you are having.

19. You forget to pack a change of clothes for the potty trainee, and he has an accident.

20. You have a super productive day, so tomorrow will, for sure, be total crap.

What Murphy’s Law always happens in your house?

***

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25 Comments

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Comments

  1. Julie anne says

    March 26, 2015 at 11:36 am

    Haha, I have experiance more of these then I care to admit. Another one is when your out with your baby and the have a diaper explosion and it’s the one time in months you don’t have a diaper and wipes on you. Parenting defiantly always keeps you on your toes.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 26, 2015 at 11:39 am

      haha! For SURE. I’ve been there too. :/

      Reply
  2. Karen says

    March 26, 2015 at 12:23 pm

    Tee hee hee!! I’m glad it’s not just me!!!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 27, 2015 at 12:44 pm

      No. DEFINITELY not you. 🙂

      Reply
  3. Emily, Our house now a home says

    March 26, 2015 at 12:38 pm

    Yes to all of this. Don’t ever say out loud what you plan to get done the next day because none of it will get done. You will have a sick kid, you will get sick, you will remember you are volunteering at the school, whatever. Something will prevent you from doing all of the things you planned to be on top of. Also the cleaning of the floor on is the worst. It is spilled milk after I clean the floor, and I think totally fine to cry over. That stuff is sticky.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 27, 2015 at 12:45 pm

      Exactly. I have wanted to cry over spilled milk too! 🙂

      Reply
  4. Janine Huldie says

    March 27, 2015 at 8:30 am

    Never fails and Murphy’s Law for moms, pretty much bites the big one here on most, if not all of these, too!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 27, 2015 at 12:45 pm

      ha! Sorry you can relate. 😉

      Reply
  5. Jenny @ Unremarkable Files says

    March 27, 2015 at 8:48 pm

    You comment out loud on how nobody in your family has gotten sick for a long time! You will all be puking by tomorrow morning.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 27, 2015 at 9:19 pm

      SOO true. At first I thought when I read this that I had typed that, and I panicked. 🙂 Ha!

      Reply
  6. Jennifer Groeber says

    March 28, 2015 at 6:25 am

    Yes, yes, yes! You hit it exactly. May I add, you sit down for one minute in the midst of a crazy busy day and your husband pops home for a second and comments along the lines of, “So glad you’ve got another easy day.” Seriously?! Ha!
    Awesome post.

    Reply
  7. Cindy Hasko says

    March 30, 2015 at 10:29 am

    I am new to your site. I can relate to this post! Love it! So cute and true! Ahhhh… mommy~hood! 🙂 I followed your other sites as well. xo, Cindy from http://www.inspirememama.com

    Reply
  8. Kristi Campbell says

    April 14, 2015 at 5:11 pm

    HA! So funny (and so dang true)!

    Reply
  9. Chris Carter says

    April 15, 2015 at 7:27 am

    OH YES!!!! These are all sooo true!!!

    Reply
  10. BREANNA says

    April 17, 2015 at 8:25 pm

    Oh my goodness yes all of these things have happened to me with the little gremlins I lovingly call my kids.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      April 23, 2015 at 9:30 am

      haha. Gremlins is definitely a good term for them! 🙂

      Reply
  11. Amy says

    April 24, 2015 at 5:23 pm

    My kids will be happily entertaining themselves quietly until I decide I can make a quick phone call. Then suddenly they will both urgently need my attention … Every single time.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      April 24, 2015 at 5:32 pm

      I know! What is up with that?

      Reply
  12. Yuri says

    August 18, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    These are all true!! How about you cleaned the bathroom and your husband decides to shave that night? anyone? I think he does it on purpose! I just found your blog love the content!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      August 18, 2015 at 7:05 pm

      Thanks Yuri! And yes, I can relate to that too

      Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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