Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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The Movie Theater Rebel

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“Here. Put these socks on.” I say in a hurry.

“But Mommy, those socks don’t match”

“It’s fine. Just put them on.”

*stares at me not believing what I just said.

“Really, it’s fine! No one sees your socks anyway!”

*He’s still staring at me

“It’s cool to wear socks that don’t match now.”

This convinces him and he finally puts his socks on that don’t match, but I can tell he is still skeptical. He is no doubt wondering why Mom let him break this rule of sock-matching.

You see, I wrote a post once about how much of a rule-follower I am. And, how I caught my 6 year old reading rules that were posted at the local playground. What kid does that? Mine. So when he looked at me with that stare like, “Is she for real?” when I allowed him to wear two mis-matched socks to school, it was yet another eye-opening moment.

I have to chill the heck out with this mothering thing.

Is there really a rule that you have to wear socks that match? No. But, obviously I have subconsciously drilled this into my kids’ brains. Just like there is no rule that I have to wait to have my Diet Coke until I’ve already had 4 glasses of water. You see, I’m living by the 8 glasses of water a day recommendation. So I try to…..never mind.

I clearly have a problem. Breaking the rules is difficult for me. And, while I always dreamed of being that mother that would let her kids break societal norms, that is clearly NOT what is going on in my household from day to day.

My daughter has timed reading tests. They’re stupid mostly because she is reading two grade levels above the grade she is in. So, she reads them like I would read Bob Books. So, we’re supposed to track how many words she reads in one minute and how many mistakes she makes. Repeat this five times in one week. See? Stupid.

One week, she came home with a paragraph. Like, literally. One paragraph. We had to read it 5 times in the same week. So, the last time, my husband was in charge of doing it. Afterward, instead of marking down the number of times she read the paragraph and how many mistakes she made, he broke a rule. He had her repeat it to him without looking. You know, to see if she memorized it. And, apparently, she had. So, on the form, he wrote down, “memorized with only 10 mistakes”. He showed it to me and of course I said, “No!! You can’t put that. Make her read it.” But, she was already in bed, and I didn’t win that argument. He reminded me how stupid the homework was in the first place. He had a point.

So, you see, breaking rules is a hard thing for me. So, when I heard about Emily’s challenge over on her blog, I literally could think of like two times I broke a rule. I never snuck out of the house growing up, I never skipped class, never shoplifted a piece of gum, and I’ve never even tasted alcohol. Seriously. I haven’t.

But, there was that one time….

I was in middle school. I had this friend that was not exactly a good influence. She was new in town and ended up only going to my school for one year. But, in that one year, I spent the night at her house a couple of times and it was like a different world over there. First, her house was giant compared to mine. And her parents were never around. I can’t even remember what they looked like. I have a vague memory of a father like figure, but I don’t know if I ever met her mother. But, what I do remember doing at her house were things like playing with a ouija board, pretending to do seances, and the time she “accidentally”popped her dad’s porno movie in and I saw about 20 seconds of it that took me YEARS to erase from my memory. So, you see? She was a good influence.

One night, she invited me to go to the movie with her. She had a plan. One I didn’t exactly know about until it was too late. I innocently told my parents we were going to see Field of Dreams. I’m not exactly sure why that was the movie of choice at the time, and why a middle-school girl of 13 would want to see a movie about baseball, but that’s what I thought we were going to see. But, when we got there, and bought our tickets, she told me about her plan. We weren’t going to see field of dreams after all. We were going to see Pet Cemetery. We had to sneak in. And look like 18 year olds. I. Was. Terrified.

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First of all, I hated scary movies. Second of all, I was breaking a rule. Sneaking into a scary, Rated R movie was like a double whammy. I remember we sat in the back, and were trying to sit up as tall as possible. You know, to look like respectable 18 year olds. At one point, an employee walked in and my heart was racing. I froze and just knew I was going to get caught. But, I really doubt he even gave us a second glance. I mean, he was a movie theatre employee after all, but to me he felt like the police!

I don’t remember much about the movie now except for an evil cat, but I do remember how I felt when I got home and my Dad asked how the movie was. I’m sure that he really DID want to see it. I remember mustering up something like, “Oh, it was good” and then quickly trying to change the subject. I felt horrible. And for the longest time, anytime even mentioned the movie, Field of Dreams, I broke out into a cold sweat.

In the end, there was no harm done, right? But, my conscience sure did get a work out.

I don’t know what the answer is with helping my kids understand the difference between real rules and ones we set for ourselves, but hopefully when they do break one, I will go a little easier on them thanks to a past discretion of my own. As innocent as it may have been.

You can join this blog hop too. What’s a rule YOU have broken?

rtt-new


13 Comments

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Comments

  1. Rayna says

    October 24, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    Oh my…where do I begin??? This comment box isn’t long enough. Unlike you I broke many rules and enjoyed every one. LOL!! Have to break the rules every now and again. 😉 You are too cute. Think a night of breaking rules is in order for you. 😀

    Reply
  2. sue parker says

    October 24, 2013 at 6:25 pm

    I broke ’em all!

    Reply
  3. ahmommy says

    October 24, 2013 at 9:09 pm

    I am very much like you… Down to the 4 glasses of waste before my diet coke. I have been breaking that one lately.

    Reply
  4. Ben says

    October 25, 2013 at 9:45 am

    I tell my kid to mismatch jammies all the time. Cause I’m a huge rebel.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 25, 2013 at 10:10 am

      You are! 🙂

      Reply
  5. The Waiting says

    October 25, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    I did the same thing once when I was a teenager, except it was Con Air. Yes, I snuck in to see Nicholas Cage’s mullet flapping in the wind. Such taste I had. Loved this post.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 25, 2013 at 7:14 pm

      Con Air??? That’s awesome. Except that I hate Nicholas Cage.

      Reply
  6. AreYouFinishedYet says

    October 26, 2013 at 11:31 am

    I remember being with my friends at the movies one time, and they wanted to sneak into a second movie after the one we had watched was over. I was all kinds of uptight about it. Not only was it breaking the rules, but I was all like, “But we’ve already missed the first half of it? Why would you only want to watch the second half of the movie? We won’t know what’s going on?” I obviously did not get the whole rebel thing. We probably would have made good friends as kids 🙂

    Reply
  7. Kerry says

    October 29, 2013 at 11:45 am

    This was hilarious! I love all of the arbitrary rules! But most curious to me is the part that you’ve never had alcohol? Really? I didn’t realize that was possible. haha 🙂

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 29, 2013 at 1:06 pm

      Well, born and raised Mormon here. So, yeah, it’s possible! That doesn’t mean that Mormons don’t break the rules…we are human after all, but for some reason, the alcohol was never a temptation for me!

      Reply
  8. christa sterken says

    October 29, 2013 at 1:31 pm

    My 15 year old delights in mismatched socks, apparently popular trend? Reassure your son, though perhaps teen girls won’t be that encouraging for him as inspiration. When I was 13 we snuck in to see Purple Rain. Yeah, saw some clips recently and thought no WONDER my mom didn’t want me to see that

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 29, 2013 at 1:43 pm

      The funny thing is I HATE scary movies now. Peer pressure. It’s a real thing!

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. My Kids Are Killing The People Pleaser in Me. | Perfection Pending says:
    October 29, 2013 at 2:50 pm

    […] possibly let her children make the same mistakes she has been making. She has to let them wear mis-matched socks sometimes, and she has to hurt their feelings on occasion by telling them they can’t eat […]

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
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Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
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I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

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Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

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We all feel like imposters. 
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