Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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Humor Manic Mondays

Mom U. Now Offering Even More Courses to Save Your Sanity.

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I had so much fun writing up my post last week for my university that I’m going to start up, that I thought I would share a few more classes we will be offering. Most of these come from my amazing readers…and if possible, I linked to your post if my class came from your suggestion.

If you missed my post last week, then you must check it out here. We’re still working out details like… Staffing. Who would actually be qualified to teach these classes? My guess is that we all have different strengths as moms, and maybe you’ve already mastered some of these and can share your skills with the rest of us.

Mom U. Helping Moms Hang On To Their Sanity One Class At a Time. Courses Mostly Offered Online at PerfectionPending.net

 Mom U. Now Offering More Classes Than Before!!

Adult Temper Tantrum Prevention This class is meant to help the mom that tries to control her temper all day, but usually loses it by dinnertime. We will focus on how to know when you should give yourself a time-out, and the art and beauty of counting to 10. With an emphasis on how to just accept that your life will never be the same now that you have kids. Class suggestion from Louise @ Baby Gates Down

Filtering Noise And Recognizing Important Information This class will help you understand that at some point, all of your children will talk at you or near you at once. It is important to focus in on the important information (like that school report that is due tomorrow morning that you child is just now mentioning) and filter out the useless noise that children make (like repeating the word Mommy 2,356 times for no apparent reason). As a reward for good grades, this class will give you a moment to yourself in complete silence for a full 15 minutes. Class suggestion from Nicola at Nikki Young Writes. 

Nagging, Pestering, Fake Crying and Whining Avoidance This class is a must-have for all moms. This class will teach you how to tune out a child that asks you for permission for the same thing 15 times even though you’ve already answered. You will learn how to walk away from, and ignore fake crying. *See our manual for 7 Tips to Stop the Fake Crying.You will also learn how to avoid your children when they are extra whiney at the end of the day. We will use the locking yourself in the bathroom technique often for this one.  Class suggestion from Nicola at Nikki Young Writes. 

The Art of Balancing In this class, we don’t talk about all that you have to juggle as a mom in theory, instead we focus on the actual objects you will have to juggle at any given time. This might include carrying a screaming 2 year old to the car from the grocery store against his will while not dropping your groceries, finding your keys, and remembering where you parked your car. This class might also come in handy for the mom that has to carry 322 things for a trip to the park, or is potty training a child and needs to pack an entire day’s worth of clothes with her everywhere. This class will help you slap a smile on your face while you do it all so strangers don’t give you dirty looks. Class suggestion from Amanda at A Great Housewife.

Perfecting “The Look” Most moms have a look that they use from time to time to emphasize to their kids that they mean business. This class will help you perfect that look. No longer will you have to threaten or give warnings, because once you take this class, your look will be so good, that your children will not dare disobey. Class suggestion from Eli at Coach Daddy Blog.

Last Minute Creations This class will help you perfect your skills of coming up with school projects, posters, costumes, and birthday gifts at the last second. No longer will you yell at your kids when they fail to remind you of important events because with this class you will always have an idea ready and waiting in your back pocket. Literally in. your. back. pocket. You’ll be able to do things like craft a costume out of objects you have around your house, and create a school science experiment in 15 minutes (with a poster board too).  Class suggestion from April of 100 lb. Countdown

Distraction 101 This class is specifically designed for parents of 2 year olds. Especially ones that wake up angry from naps, and refuse to be happy in public. In this class, we will focus on the art of distracting your toddler from whatever he is angry about in the moment and helping you both forget the made up reason he became mad in the first place. This class will help moms find random things or events going on in your own home or in the neighborhood to point out to the angry toddler in order to distract him from his fit. “Look sweetie! A blade of grass!” is an example of a phrase you will learn to use.

Enduring Large Groups of Children for Beginners This class is mostly for new moms, or soon-to-be moms, but might help seasoned moms as well. You will be exposed to large groups of children in an effort to appreciate your own child (or children) more. When you leave this group, you will think your own kids are more well-behaved, and possibly think they are even too quiet. However, this class will expose you to uncomfortable situations like watching other kids eat their boogers, fight over toys, and scream loudly for long periods of time. But, the reward is that your children will now look like little treasures, and you will love them even more than you already do.

Your tuition will go towards funding mandatory social time for moms at the end of every class (wine or your beverage of choice will be available) to help calm your nerves after vigorous training per the suggestion of Nicola at Nikki Young Writes.

For physical activity we will have a soccer team organized by Eli of Coach Daddy called the “Fightn’ Mamas”. This PE type course will help us get our aggression out in healthy ways instead of taking it out on the kids. As an incentive to work hard, the losing team will have to babysit for free for one hour for the winners.

Advanced classes will be offered once you complete at least two classes per the suggestion of Jesse from Behind the Willows. In our advanced classes, the focus will be on helping you multi-task in a way you never thought possible. You will combine classes like Talking on the Phone 101 while you participate in Cooking with “Helpers” so that you can prove to everyone you know that you are indeed the super mom that they already think you are.

But more importantly, you will prove it to yourself.

**Stay tuned for our Tween Edition of Mom U coming up soon!!

***************

This is a parenting blog hop. What are you thinking about this week? Link them up so we can visit each other and hear about what’s going on in YOUR parenting world.

Going to join us? Here are the “rules” (Feel free to follow them loosely):

1. Add your link below

2. Grab MY button found below and add it to your post or sidebar, and then come back and link up with us here. It’s that easy! I’ll try to promote your post on social media by pinning, tweeting, and sharing.

3. Visit the other awesome bloggers that are also linking up and leave comments on their posts!

 Perfection Pending


11 Comments

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Comments

  1. Ana Lynn says

    June 23, 2014 at 6:52 am

    I can’t wait for your tween edition since my son is in that phase now. I’m sorry my comments aren’t more productive today, I am pushing through the day on 2 hours of sleep.

    Reply
  2. Susan Maccarelli says

    June 23, 2014 at 8:29 am

    This is great! I love the Look and Filtering Noise – they are all great and I need to enroll in remedial courses at this university immediately!

    Reply
  3. Megan Lisica says

    June 23, 2014 at 10:01 am

    This is so wonderful. Could we add a class about how to parent guilt free? Where just ridiculously ‘bad’ parenting stories are shared like a support group so we all feel better. I’d have a few stories to share, for example the time my husband and I were each holding onto our 2 1/2 yr old daughters mittened hands while we walked down a neighborhood hill, swinging her with the 1-2-3 swing…that all kids love. We see her fly out from our hands seeming to suspend in mid air before landing on her back in the street. We each look at the mitten we are each still holding realizing in our shock that her hands had slipped out. Thankfully it was snowy and she landed in the snow and wasn’t hurt. Right then, total ‘bad’ parent of the year award was going to us 😉 Maybe ‘It Happens’ could be the name of the class… 🙂

    Reply
  4. Tina Ernspiker says

    June 23, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    Thanks for the link-up. I pinned it! Have a great week!

    Reply
  5. Jessie says

    June 23, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    “Oh look sweetie a blade of grass!” 😀 Hilarious who knows, maybe it’ll work on my two year old tomorrow!
    I’ll volunteer to help teach a noise filtering class, but I”d sign up for Distraction 101, Adult Temper tantrum prevention and the “Figtin’ Mama’s ” team! 🙂

    Reply
  6. Louise says

    June 23, 2014 at 9:32 pm

    In addition to the temper tantrums for adults (thanks so much for the shout-out!) I like the idea of the balancing one – I SO don’t do that well. Carrying eight different things while two children ask to be carried requires … problem-solving skills.

    This was great! A perfect encore to last week.

    Reply
  7. Eli@coachdaddy says

    June 24, 2014 at 9:05 am

    So proud to be on board for Mom U. Think I’ll blend in? Now I know what Smurfette feels like, in reverse.

    Soccer practice is today at 4:30. Make sure to bring water and a ball. I kind of see you as a fierce defender, Meredith.

    Reply
  8. Nicola Young says

    June 24, 2014 at 10:22 am

    Meredith, you are really going to do this aren’t you?! Wish I lived nearby!
    Love the idea of perfecting ‘the look’, though I think I do that pretty well already, if I do say so myself. Thanks for including my suggestions. Think I got quite in to the idea didn’t I?

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Whew, the Stages of the Diaper Change | Sentiments of a Working Mom says:
    June 23, 2014 at 11:56 am

    […] Read more Manic Monday Posts Here! […]

    Reply
  2. Mom U. The Classes I Would Offer If I Owned a University - Perfection Pending says:
    January 14, 2015 at 8:06 am

    […] Mom U: Now Offering Even More Classes to Save Your Sanity […]

    Reply
  3. Sanity Saving Tips To Make Shopping With Kids Easier - Perfection Pending says:
    December 17, 2018 at 11:51 am

    […] I do have some smart ideas to save your sanity while shopping with your kids. Now that my kids are older, I spend most of my time trying to bribe […]

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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