Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

  • My Books
    • The Mother Load
    • Mom Life: Perfection Pending – The Book
    • Free eBook: Sometimes Motherhood Sucks
    • How To Grow Your FB Following
  • Motherhood
    • Inspiration
    • Encouragement
    • Childhood
    • Humor
    • Parenting Memes
    • Friendship
    • Marriage
  • Kid Ideas
    • Recipes
    • Practical Tips
    • Babies & Toddlers
    • teens and tweens
    • The Elementary School Years
  • Mental Health
    • Mental Health
    • Anxiety
  • About
    • Favorite Posts
    • My Portfolio
    • Privacy & Disclosures

teens and tweens

Girls Are Calling Dibs On Prom Dresses Through Social Media And Nothing Surprises Us Anymore

  • Share
  • Tweet

Spring is drawing near which means two important things, the giant piles of snow will soon be melting away, and prom season is on the horizon. This means teen girls everywhere are preparing to go in search of “the one.”

Countless hours will be spent shopping til’ they drop to find the dress of their dreams that they can’t live without. The one that fits better than all the rest and makes them feel prettier than Andie in her pink dress.

Unless of course while on the dance floor they bump into a classmate who’s wearing the exact same outfit – because wouldn’t that totally be the end of the world?

Back in my day, somewhere in the late nineties, you’d just casually laugh it off. Maybe even make a pact to stay on different sides of the room all night. A shared eyeroll between you and your best friend would take place and perhaps some gossip in the bathroom.

You certainly wouldn’t let it ruin your special evening and you definitely wouldn’t cry over it, and risk messing up your perfectly applied mascara. That would be the real tragedy.

These days though, teenagers have found a way to prevent the trauma associated with this public embarrassment from ever occurring – by calling dibs on their favorite prom dresses through an Instagram account like this one. Here’s how it works – someone who attends the school creates an Instagram page for their prom so the girls who plan on attending can view the dresses that have already been claimed. The point of the page is to deter other girls from purchasing the same dress in order to avoid a clothing snafu on the big night.

It may sound like a good idea at first but it puts an enormous amount of pressure on these girls to rush right out, find their dress, and instantly post a picture. All the while panicking that someone may have already beat you to it. Then, what if you check the account find the perfect dress, only to be messaged later that – oops! a senior already bought that one, and you just missed where she called dibs. This happened to one mom and daughter as they were shopping for dresses just last week.

This mom was worried about the fact her daughter was told after she purchased her dress that a senior had already claimed it and they weren’t sure what to do. So she posted about it on the Facebook page of the popular parenting website, Grown and Flown wondering if other parents were going through this too.

The question that’s being posed is, what happens when you find THE DRESS and it’s claimed? Should you really not wear something you love for the sake of this rule that only one girl gets the dress?

Many of the commenters on the original Facebook post are surprised that this is even an issue and a lot of people think it’s petty to worry about what everyone else is wearing. But honestly, in the age of promposals, how can anything surprise us anymore?

But, the surprising thing we found is that there are Instagram accounts like this all over social media. This is not an isolated incident. Moms are commenting that, “It’s prom, not the Oscars!” and that they have seen many adult women handle this problem in real life gracefully many times before – so what’s the big deal?

Yet some moms are admitting that they feel uncomfortable with how wrapped up in the drama their daughter might become focusing on the critiques people might give of the dress on Instagram or worrying about how many likes it gets before they even make it to the big night.

I have a daughter and ultimately it’s her call. She’s the one who will have to walk into her prom and be confronted by her peers. As silly as I think this is, and I do think it’s silly, she is existing in a different time. A digital age where her every move can be captured on social media and critiqued.

Personally, I will urge her to avoid the social media trap and wear whatever dress makes her comfortable. If she happens to show up to prom in the same dress as another girl, I hope she chooses to say something like “I see we both have great taste” and then move on with her evening. Because learning to love what she loves and handle herself with grace and class will serve her far better long after prom night ends.

I give these kids credit for trying to solve a perceived problem, but I don’t know that claiming ownership of an off the rack dress is worth the effort. There’s great value in learning to navigate these social situations before you hit adulthood, because once you’re existing in the world beyond high school you’ll experience all sorts of uncomfortable situations that you’re forced to confront, and having the skills to cope is so important to succeeding as an adult.

***

Kari is a freelance writer whose work has appeared on Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Babble, and more. She writes because it’s the only way for her to finish a thought without being interrupted by her two kids.


4 Comments

« Easy 10 Minute Kid-Friendly Pizza Bake
Super Easy Easter Egg Rice Krispie Treats »

Comments

  1. Victoria Engel says

    March 3, 2018 at 9:21 pm

    This is absolutely ridiculous. A girl should wear what makes her feel beautiful. Period.
    Just because some other girl got to the store first doesn’t mean she gets to decide what my daughter WON’T be wearing! My daughter will try on every dress in the place and if she feels like a princess in the one someone else already “claimed” and we purchase it? Well, that girl who thinks she gets to think for my daughter can just hide in the bathroom all night if she’s embarrassed.
    Meanwhile, my daughter will be having the time of her life…and feeling and looking beautiful while she does it!
    And you know why? Cuz she knows this is STUPID and having fun while making memories has VERY little (if anything) to do with the dress she’s wearing!!!
    Petty, egotistical, sense of entitlement, shallow…shall I go on?

    Reply
  2. Stephanie says

    March 4, 2018 at 8:29 pm

    Actually this is not really a “new” thing. When I was in High School (late 1990’s), I worked at a high end dress shop that sold prom and wedding dresses. The seamstresses used to tell me stories about how they used to reserve dresses for girls for prom and basically make sure that they didn’t sell the same dress to girls going to the same school.
    My personal opinion: girls should be allowed to wear whatever makes them comfortable. Besides every dress is made unique by the girl wearing it and her own personal style.

    Reply
  3. Stephanie says

    March 13, 2019 at 2:34 pm

    Although this shouldn’t be a big deal, it is for a teenager and because of the disturbance it can cause, lots of schools are creating Facebook and Instagram pages to help prevent it from happening. Being a mom of 3 teenage girls we deal with this every year so I decided to find a solution to the problem and created a website where girls can register their dress , http://www.dontcopymydress.com. It’s a central location where girls can register their dress for any event based on the website or store the dress was purchased, the brand, length, color, state, city, and school. Our mission is to partner with all the dress stores and websites around the world to help these girls enjoy their special night without having to share the spotlight. We’d love for you to share this information with your followers so we can help eliminate this unnecessary stress for all these girls. In addition to registering their dress, girls get the chance to checkout what everyone else wearing to the dance as well as making shopping for a dress easier by providing links and in some cases discounts from 20+ of the most popular dress retailers.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. The Cost Of Prom Is Outrageous - Here's How To Save Some Money - Perfection Pending says:
    March 5, 2018 at 9:02 pm

    […] While I expected an increase in cost due to inflation, I was caught off guard by the new numbers. While I admit I live in an affluent area, I was shocked at the prices of dresses, which is typically the single largest outlay of cash.  Many girls purchase theirs at high-end department stores or bridal shops, spending $500 or more. While the prices are more reasonable at the lower end department stores, the complaint is that the quality is not always there (sometimes true), and the odds are greater that one will be seen in the same dress as another girl at the dance. […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
Load More Follow on Instagram

You might also like

The Greatest Gift Is To Watch Your Child Leave You

Mom holding baby in nursery and yawning

When Does Parenting Get Less Exhausting? Newsflash – Never.

Dad holding tired girl after trick or treating during Halloween in the 80's

Halloween in The 80’s Was the Best Ever

mom forcing a smile with fingers and blue background

Stop Complaining About Motherhood. Here Are 21 Reasons You Shouldn’t

Here’s How to Deal With Hating Being a Parent

Copyright © 2025 · Perfection Pending · Designed by Krizzy Designs

Copyright © 2025 · Divine Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in