I recently heard that in Japan, they hold crying clubs. They watch sad movies, and read sad books in order to induce a good, healthy cry.
I know that I love me a good cry. Don’t you? I swear I need to have a good cry weekly. If it’s the week before my period, that might get upped to daily. When I’m sad, I cry. When I’m mad, I cry. When I want to scream, I cry. When I’m laughing on the phone with my sister, I cry…sometimes until I’ve almost wet my pants. I’ve had three kids, after all.
So, my point is…I can appreciate a good cry.
However, as a mother of three little ones, I do not appreciate a fake cry. I’m cruel and heartless, I know. Maybe the three people that read my blog that don’t have kids don’t know what a fake cry is. “A fake cry?” you ask in astonishment. “What’s that!?”
You lucky people.
If you are under 4 feet tall in our house, then you fake cry. Often. And, it’s getting so out of control, that sometimes, they have fake crying competitions in the backseat of the car.
And, there is nothing more infuriating than a fake cry. I can still hear my Dad’s voice ringing in my ears when I used this tactic, “Quit your fake crying!” he would yell. Between the fake crying, and my real crying, it’s really a miracle that I didn’t drive that man to the loony bin.
But, I swear, we get kids like us for a reason. To humble us, and make us appreciate that our parents didn’t beat us as often as they wanted to.
If you are like me, you are desperate to find ways to stop the fake crying. Here are a few tips:
1. Beat them. Kidding. Seriously, I’m KIDDING! Instead, give them the fake crying right back. Get theatrical. It usually makes my kids laugh, or confused. Either way, they almost always stop fake crying.
2. Distraction. I loved this dad’s approach to ask his kid “What does the Cow say?” in the middle of her fake crying. Hmm…I wonder if this would work for the 7 year old? Doubt it.
3. Tell them to produce real tears. If this cat can do it, they should be able to also!
4. Get to the source and call their bluff. Put a smile on your face while you’re asking, “Are you trying to get your brother in trouble?” It will confuse them enough to possibly confess. Is mommy happy about my trickery? they will wonder…since you are smiling and all.
5. Ignore it. OK, this works sometimes. In fact, it’s what the “experts” say to do. And, by experts I mean moms on message boards. It could work, in theory. But, just make sure your child is really old enough to fake cry. K? Hint: 3 months old is too young.
Mom! Why did you make me wear this tiny tuxedo?
6. Tell yourself it’s just a phase. It probably is. But, it’s scary how young they figure this out.
And even scarier how long they keep it up.
7. Give in. OK, I know that this should definitely be the last resort, but sometimes, we just have to keep our sanity. Am I right?
And, just FYI, it’s quite possible this blog post is the worst parenting advice ever. But, good luck! I hope you don’t let the little people win, unless it’s absolutely necessary.
Ha! You have a GIFT for picking the best GIFs to match your writing! Hilarious!
It’s my first time using GIFs…thank you!! 🙂
Big fan of the gifs. Gonna start using them myself more often.
Also, great post. Fake cryers are the worst.
This was my first post using them! It was pretty fun, I have to admit. 🙂
Ha! That made me laugh! I absolutely detest fake crying!!!!!! My kids now know, it just doesn’t work with me AT. ALL.
I know. It really is the worst!! 🙂
Omg a woman after my own heart. My 8 year old is the QUEEN of fake crying, she does it at least once daily and I want to smack herrrrrr! She whines and “cries” and thinks I actually care when she fakes it.
So what you’re telling me is that they don’t break the habit anytime soon? 🙁 Thanks for stopping by!
I can barely handle the REAL crying. I don’t know what I’ll do when she starts faking it.
Ugh. I know! It is the worst!
I guess I’m one of your three … but I have many little ones in my life and I #knowdislife. I mother humping HATE the fake cry. It makes me want to shove an ice pick in my ear canal. Having said that … matching them with a fake cry of my own seems to be the remedy in the lead. HOWEVER, as an aunt/guardian/etc., to really do it justice, you kinda need the parents to not be in the vicinity because it AIN’T pretty and might even seem mean if they’ve never given it a spin. Good post! 🙂
Yay for being one of my three!! 🙂 Yes, doing it back to them seems to always be the number one thing that works over here too!!
Oh yes, my daughter loves the fake crying. It can drive me insane. If she does it I generally pick her up, deposit her on the bed, and shut the door. Then she usually shouts, “This is so RUDE!”
haha! That’s hilarious!!
Awesome idea, I wonder if my boyfriend will get upset when he finds out I try this on his fake crying daughter
Oh, I am all too familiar with the fake cry and it makes me crazy. I ignore until I crack and send my kids to their rooms. But I am not at all familiar with the cry clubs, that is hilarious! I’m all about a good cry too, not sure I could do it under such pressure though! ;)Goodness knows I can cry enough on my own. haha!
I know! It would be a lot of pressure, huh?
Yeah, my almost 5 year old boy will do this, and there’s nothing worse than a boy crying (fakely). So if he keeps it up, I send him to his room as I tell him I don’t want to hear it. He can come back when he’s not crying. Cruel!
Not cruel!! It’s better than the last option of just giving in!! 🙂
Hilarious!! I can’t stand my daughter’s fake crying! She can produce real tears at the drop of a hat though. We just send her to her room and tell her to come out when she’s calm and it works every time. Now how do we get the little drama queens to stop all together? We’d make millions in book sales if only we could figure it out.
Or, wait until she wants to pursue acting!! Then, you will be set. 😉
Love the pics and the videos you selected to support your writing!
I can’t relate to the fake cry of children, but my pooch has me whipped! He has a fake whine he uses for EVERYTHING! Maybe I’ll try your advice and let you know how it goes.
Stopping by as a member of your SITS Tribe. I am looking forward to getting to know you!
Thanks for stopping by!! 🙂
OMG! So true!! The fake crying kills me!! This is funny 🙂
Thanks! 🙂
Thankfully we don’t have the fake cry yet, but we have the fake ‘I’m being tortured’ scream which is wayyy worse!
Oh, I HATE the fake crying. I’ll take any suggestions I can get… you never know when something might work! I think I”ll try the cow one first. 🙂 Solidarity, sister! From another mom-who-is-constantly-plagued-by-fake-crying.
Hahahaha @ don’t let the little people win. Great advice!
Oh Meredith!! This CRACKED me UP!!! Girl- my SON fake cries and I want to HIT HIM!!! I tell him that too… and then he laughs while he’s fake crying- but I swear- it drives me CRAZY and I have NO tolerance for it!!!
LOVE this. 🙂
Oh! I’m sorry that you’re experiencing the same pain as I am!! Fake Crying is the WORST!
If i hear any more fake crying or fits about literally nothing i think i might spontaneously combust. #threeyearolds #whatareyougoingtodo #terroristtoddlers
Monday i resorted to fake crying myself, i laid on the floor and kicked and screamed….my son was laughing crazy hard. But i can’t do that in public unless wine is involved lol…
Oh dear.
Haha! I’m glad I’m not the only one that fake cries to get my kids attention!
My 3-year-old doesn’t start by fake crying, but if something makes her cry for real, then she will milk it for all it is worth. I can hear the difference when she is done with the real crying and has moved on to fake crying. Usually I ask her, “Do you think that’s enough crying, or do you want to cry more?” That way she knows that I know that she knows it’s a choice she is making at that point. So much of our emotions ARE a choice, in my opion.
My husband and I also praise her when she is able to stop crying quickly on her own. Now, when she gets a little “owie,” she’ll sometimes smile proudly and say, “I only cried a little bit!”
Thanks for this article.
I just took my daughter to school crying all the way. But with intervals of this cheeky grin .. Like I know what I’m doing and I’m going to wind you up because I didn’t get what I want.
I felt at a loss what to do but I plan on trying some tips in your article especially the fake crying one.
Thank you for your honest suggestions. I’ve read a dozen other posts telling us that we need to find the reason why and comforting them. The reason is they are trying to drive us insane. I’m pretty sure they have meetings about it while we’re sleeping. lol
Brilliant 😊 thank you!