One thing I know for sure, is that I have a tiny bit of road rage. I’m not the pull a gun on you type, but I like to yell things. Mormony-non-swearing type things. Call people idiots. Stupid. Honk.
I really like to honk.
The problem is, my kids are with me 99.9% of the time I’m driving. So, I’m sure at one point, we will have a “situation”. You know what I’m talking about, right? It hasn’t happened….yet. But, I’m sure it will. Like the time when my sister’s little girl leaned her head out of the car in the school pick up line and said, “Move out of the way you moron!” I think she was 4. She’s precious though, I promise.
But, here’s the thing, I have an ever growing list of people that I don’t want to drive behind, beside, or near. Some of them include:
People with beanie babies in their back (or front) dash.
People with handicap license plates.
People that wear big hats.
People that drive PT Cruisers. (Sorry if you own one. You probably are a very slow driver.)
People that drive sports cars. (Face it…the only people that can usually afford sports, or don’t have 3 kids under the age of 5 in their cars are old.)
People that have anything hanging from their rear-view mirror. (I once saw a lady with her iPod hanging from it…she was looking at it while she drove)
Recently, I saw a car with a wide variety of rubber duckies in the front dash. Mental note: Add that one to the list too.
People with lap dogs.
People with bobble heads. The kind in the dash, not the real kind.
People that like to talk at you from their car. OK. This only happened once. But, I made a mental note to never talk to someone that was shouting, “How are you today?” at me from his car window. Creepy.
People with diesel trucks. I’m sorry, but I hate you.
I’m sure I’m forgetting a few. But, you get my point right? Of course, I believe, like most Americans, that I am a really good driver. But, the truth is, I’m probably not. Most likely because of one fact (thankfully not listed above).
I’m a Mom.
I know, I know. I’m probably offending moms everywhere, but think about it for a second. How good of a driver could you possibly be? Sure, I haven’t gotten in a wreck for years and, tickets? I can’t remember the last time I got pulled over (which probably means it will be this afternoon).
But, there is a good chance, I still suck anyway. Because there are kids in my car 99.9% of the time. Why is this such a problem? Let me tell you. And, I want you to examine your own driving while reading through this list, and admit to yourself, moms are probably the worst drivers on the road.
photo credit: abardwell via photopin cc
#1- I’m always late. For example, because I decided to write this post, I will probably be late to pick my 5 year old up from preschool two hours from now. Not because this post will take that long to write, but because I also have 97 other things to do between now and then and obviously blogging is the most important.
#2- I’m usually breaking up a fight, handing someone a chicken nugget, dropping a chicken nugget, picking it back up to hand to the child (3 second rule), picking up a favorite toy that a child has dropped and has to have right that second, tickling toes so they don’t fall asleep on me before nap time, changing the radio ten times to suit the needs of the two year old who is particular about which songs he likes, adjusting car seat straps that somehow the little houdini got out of, telling someone to be quiet because I can’t think when they are playing the fake crying game, etc.
#3- Because I have three kids, I frequently forget what I’m doing, where I’m going, or remember something at the last minute. Oooh! There’s a McDonald’s. I almost forgot my Diet coke as I cross three lanes of traffic.
#4- I have to look in the rear view mirror often. This is not because my kids are so cute. They are. But, it’s mostly because I have to try to control behaviors while flying down the freeway. “Stop telling your brother you’re faster than him.” “Why is your foot on his car seat!?” “Can you wait until we get there for me to open that?” “Please do NOT unbuckle your seatbelt again.”
#5- I will, at some point, have to dig in my giant purse. Can’t it just wait? you might ask? Sure, sometimes it can. But, most of the time, it can’t. Someone needs a kleenex or they will freak out for sure if snot actually touches their upper lip. Someone needs a mint. Someone needs a wipe because he just squirted out his yogurt all over his lap. Someone needs hand sanitizer five minutes after driving because we think that may have been poop he touched at the park. You just never know. Someone always needs something out of the big bag.
I don’t text and drive. Ever. And, I rarely talk on the phone in the car. But, I seriously doubt I’m a good driver anyway. I mean, how could any of us be? Do you insist YOU are a good driver even though you’re a Mom? Tell me your secret. Please.
I am a mom and I will proudly say that I do not drive. I have a driver’s license but I am just not cut out to be a driver. It requires multitasking which you described perfectly and I tend to get panic attacks when there is too much things going on. I have made my piece with it and probably made the roads a lot safer!
My mother cannot fathom this and thinks I am not a complete person because I refuse to do what millions of others are doing. My argument that I am not a good driver becomes null and void with her. Sigh. My husband has my back though, even though he has never witnessed my driving.
Well, that says a lot about him that he supports you!! So, how do you get around? This would make a great blog post, because I’m curious how you can make it all work WITHOUT driving! But, I agree, some people just shouldn’t be driving.
My friend and I have been saying for years that the bad rap that some SUV’s and Minivans got a safe vehicles has nothing to do with how they are built, it’ s jut that they are driven by moms and it’s HARD to drive with one arm in the backseat, one eye on the road and one in the rear-view mirror!
Ha! So true!!
I think I am an excellent driver BECAUSE I can do all those things and still avoid hitting anyone or getting a ticket! LOL! But like you said, one or the other will probably happen later on today. :/ Great post!
Thanks, friend! I agree. I consider myself a really good driver too. But the reality is, I’m probably not.
I rarely swear. I would have said that I never swear except there was a time when I stalled my car pulling out from a junction on to a main road into busy traffic. Sitting stationary across two lanes, trying to restart my car with traffic travelling towards me at speed from both directions, I came out with some words that I didn’t know I had in me. The three little faces in the back seat took it all in. Thankfully I got going in time and no further damage was done. I do not consider myself to be a good driver and avoid getting in the car whenever possible…
Ha! Well, at least you are honest about it!! 🙂
Yeah… I may be a mom driver, but at least I’m not shaving my legs while I’m driving. Yes, I saw somebody (OK, a lady) doing this. Oh boy.
I saw someone plucking her eyebrows while driving on the freeway once too. SO dangerous! 🙂
“Stop telling your brother you’re faster than him” absolutely cracked me up. My kids freak out about the same ridiculous kind of stuff. And I completely understand the whole forgetting what you’re doing and where you’re going thing. Sometimes I have to seriously think for a second about which way to turn at the intersection at the end of my street.
I know. Mom brain. It’s real.
Meredith, I love you. We absolutely must hang out. Chik fil a, anyone? That is all.
mmmm. Chickfila. Yes, let’s do it! I need to have a bloggy friend that lives close. 🙂 None of my real life friends blog, and it gets awkward at times..no? Just me? OK.
P.S. You inspired me to create my own link-up (actually two of them,) Spiritual Sundays and Social Media Saturdays. Only one person besides me has shown up so far, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to throw it up there. How did yours get off the ground?
It was SLOW. And, still is some weeks. I’ll send you an email with all my secrets. 😉
Thanks for the prompt! We all know we need those from time to time! Thanks for hosting! Hope to see you at our Whatever Wednesday party today! Have a great week!
Thanks for linking up! If I can throw some content together, I might link up. Not sure if it will happen today though. 🙂
My town is renowned for the 4×4’s that all the private school mums drive and you often see tiny little figures behind the wheel of these great big vehicles. They are not needed over here and we don’t have big enough spaces for them to park in. As a consequence, having a big car seems to be equivalent to having a license to drive it and park however you want to, including driving straight on to the pavement (sidewalk) in order to manoeuvre in to a space (and that’s because they can’t reverse park their car, despite probably having front and back parking sensors.
There. That’s my rant over and done with. Phew, feel quite good now!
Sorry for not linking up this week. My Monday post was a write up of our recent trip away, so it didn’t really fit and my one today is a book review.
I know better than to buy a car like that. And, unless you have 7 kids, why do you need a car that big? Don’t worry about not linking up! I understand. You are always so great about it every week. 🙂
LOVE IT, so very true on all counts. I also have insane road rage, usually fulfilled by screaming “JESUS LOVES YOU” out my window whilst honking. Classy.
hahaha!!! Love it.
Oh my gosh – the dog lap drivers! I just don’t get it. 🙂
im with you- my driving habits aren’t stellar, and thankfully my 18 year old doesn’t take after me. I’m starting. To train my 15 year old now…
Crossing fingers.
Oh man. Not looking forward to that day! Good luck!!
Totally reminds me of the time my 7 yr old was eating his leftover container of tunafish in the car on the way home from school. I looked in the rearview mirror to tell him that he was going to DIE if he spilled a single bit of it in my car. But since I wasn’t looking at the road I almost crashed into the car in front of me. Had to slam on the breaks. Guess what happened to that container of tunafish? I know … I’M AN IDIOT.
Oh my gosh. YIKES! you were brave to let him have that in the first place. 🙂 Glad you all survived!!