Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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Anxiety Encouragement Inspiration

Girl, Don’t Shower For Days. We Get You.

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I’m going to write a book called: Girl, Don’t Shower For Days. Life sucks sometimes. We get you.

Maybe your kid threw up all night or you just lost your job.

You’re getting a divorce after investing in a 15-year relationship or you don’t know how you’re going to pay your bills this week.

Maybe the toddler is just toddlering and making life hell or maybe IVF didn’t work again.

Maybe you’re estranged from your family, and you don’t know how to fix it, or you just went through hell and back to get out of an abusive relationship.

It could be that you just lost a child, a best friend, or a spouse. NOTHING can fix that. Nothing.

Or it might be that you suffer from mental illness and always will, and sometimes that doesn’t feel fixable either.

I’m going to write a book called: Girl, Don’t Shower For Days. Life sucks sometimes. We get you. t’s OK not to be able to pick yourself up right away and it’s OK to sit in grief or pain as long as you need to.   It’s ok to read positive quotes and not feel an ounce of positivity. #thisisreallife #motherhooduncut #motherhooduncensored #girldontwashyourface

Life sucks sometimes and it’s OK not to feel positive about it.

It’s OK not to be able to pick yourself up right away and it’s OK to sit in grief or pain as long as you need to.

It’s ok to read positive quotes and not feel an ounce of positivity.

Life isn’t always about being positive and life will be peachy. Sometimes life doesn’t fix itself. Sometimes life means you can’t wash your face or your lady bits for days.

Sometimes we have to do the hard work and it gets better and sometimes we work so hard and feel like we are just stuck spinning our wheels.

I think – as cliche as it sounds that’s what makes life worth living. Life isn’t summarized with a positive quote or pick yourself up by the bootstraps mentality all the time.

I’m going to write a book called: Girl, Don’t Shower For Days. Life sucks sometimes. We get you. t’s OK not to be able to pick yourself up right away and it’s OK to sit in grief or pain as long as you need to.   It’s ok to read positive quotes and not feel an ounce of positivity. #thisisreallife #motherhooduncut #motherhooduncensored #girldontwashyourface

Life can be excruciatingly hard. It’s not fair. It doesn’t always work out.

Incredibly strong people still struggle. That’s what makes them strong.

So if you’re struggling right now, and not feeling super positive about things – it’s OK.

There is still hope. It may not come on a letterboard quote on Instagram and it may not be easy. But know that feeling your pain is part of this life that IS worth living.

It’s not as easy as washing your face and bucking up. I wish it were.

It’s more about relying on a friend to carry you.

It’s about allowing yourself to feel so when it’s over the joy will be that much sweeter.

It’s about finding your people even if it’s just a smile from a stranger in the grocery store that helps you put one foot in front of the other today.

It’s about being part of the human race that was meant to lift each other up. Not just do it all alone.

Yes, you’ve got this. But not because you are just gonna wash your face and get it done.

You’ve got this because life is worth living and there are people everywhere willing to help you push through the hard stuff.

Look for them. Pray TO Him. Meditate when you can, but cry about it when you can’t.

Don’t struggle alone washing your face. Be dirty. We won’t judge.

Because that’s life. And we get it. 


Writer’s note:  I did not write this post to discourage anyone from reading the Girl, Wash Your Face book. I also do not see what I wrote as “hating” on her or tearing her down. She’s wildly successful and I support women who do their thing. 2. There is room for all messages that we want to send out into the world. People love Rachel Hollis and I get that. People also love Instagram accounts where everyone looks perfect. I don’t love that. I love the raw, real, and honest. I love community, and I love speaking our truth. The truth is, a book like Girl, Wash your face would have left me feeling even more isolated and alone, and like I’m not measuring up. I know this based on friend’s comments that have read it, articles I’ve read, and seeing her message on social media. 3. People obviously want/need her message or she wouldn’t have a best seller. But, I also believe that lots of women did not see themselves in her book. Those people might find a kindred spirit here. That’s my only hope. Not to tear down another woman who is ALSO trying to build people up in her own way. If you liked what I had to say, you’ll love my book about motherhood. Grab it here.

This post originally appeared on my Facebook page. Make sure to follow me over there, too.

https://www.facebook.com/PerfectionPending/photos/a.589562121139800/1922364044526261/?type=3&theater

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2 Comments

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Comments

  1. Susan says

    November 14, 2018 at 4:30 pm

    Love it and it does describe how I feel on certain days but as you says it’s ok! It’s all about what we need to do to get through the days. To make sure the kids get fed and the dogs or cats eat too. The bills that will get paid at some point. Daily struggles are real but acknowledging them is a step and beginning in the right direction. I cannot wait to see more from you. God bless you and keep them coming!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      November 14, 2018 at 5:14 pm

      Thank you so much for this comment!

      Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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