Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

  • My Books
    • The Mother Load
    • Mom Life: Perfection Pending – The Book
    • Free eBook: Sometimes Motherhood Sucks
    • How To Grow Your FB Following
  • Motherhood
    • Inspiration
    • Encouragement
    • Childhood
    • Humor
    • Parenting Memes
    • Friendship
    • Marriage
  • Kid Ideas
    • Recipes
    • Practical Tips
    • Babies & Toddlers
    • teens and tweens
    • The Elementary School Years
  • Mental Health
    • Mental Health
    • Anxiety
  • About
    • Favorite Posts
    • My Portfolio
    • Privacy & Disclosures

Encouragement In the Motherhood Mental Health Motherhood Parenting

Here’s How to Deal With Hating Being a Parent

  • Share
  • Tweet

If you’ve been here a while, you know that I like to talk about the hard stuff like the negative feelings that go along with parenting. None of us can be perfect parents. But, how do you deal with those moments when you feel like you absolutely hate being a parent? Despite what you see on social media, we’ve all been there. 

Having negative emotions is totally normal and expected. The stages of parenting that don’t get talked about in your parenting book are the ones that are not so popular. Like, when the kid learns to say I hate you, or when they have a lying problem, or when the teenager is being rebellious.

There are plenty of intense feelings that come along with parenting, and although we know it’s a good life, it can still be kind of the worst, sometimes. So you’re hating being a parent? Welcome to the club. You’re not alone. 

Why Am I Feeling This Way?

Understanding why you feel this way is a crucial step in managing it. Only you can dig deep and know if it’s because you’re missing your old life, lack of sleep, or you have real postpartum depression.

Then there are the things that we ALL go through – parental burnout and resentment.

Perhaps what it boils down to is feeling overwhelmed, underappreciated, and like you’ve lost a part of yourself in the process.

It’s like your life is a book, and the pages are all about your kids, leaving no room for your interests, hobbies, or sanity. Whether you’re a parent for the first time, a stay-at-home mom, a single mom, or have a family member to help, remember – parenting is hard work no matter what.

And most parents are good parents. Even if they don’t like parenting once in a while. 

Remember, It’s Okay to Feel This Way

Let’s make one thing crystal clear: it’s perfectly normal to have moments of frustration and even resentment. It doesn’t make you a bad parent. In fact, acknowledging these feelings makes you self-aware.

We’re human, not parenting robots.

Our emotions are complex, and parenting can stir up a whole pot of them. So, if you’re reading this and thinking, “Yep, that’s me,” remember that you’re doing great by even acknowledging your feelings.

Give yourself some time to sit with them too. You have less freedom now that you’re a parent. Once you stepped into that new role, the life as you knew it was over. That’s something that can feel suffocating and depressing for a lot of people. 

Learning to sit with this new realization that your old life is long gone and giving yourself time to grieve what you left behind is a great way to move into acceptance of your new life.

Yes, it’s a lot of work, and there’s a good chance that you’ll have days now and then when you still get frustrated and resent being a parent, but if you take the time to grieve the loss of your old life, there’s a better chance you’ll be able to find more of the beautiful things that are now part of your life now that you’ve become a parent. 

Self-Care Is Not a Buzzword; It’s a Lifeline

In my book, The Mother Load, I talk a whole lot about the importance of self-care and how to make it happen in real life. It’s not just a buzz word though.

Lack of self-care is a common reason why happy parents start to feel like a bad mom or dad when before that, they were feeling OK about things.

Imagine working a job where you never felt appreciated, and never got to have a lunch break or go to the bathroom. That would make you feel burned out and you’d likely start looking for a new job immediately. 

Parenting is no different. Self-care is like the golden ticket to coping with those “I hate being a parent” moments.

Chances are, you’re hating being a parent because you don’t have time to give yourself a damn break.

And before you think you don’t have time or money for self-care, that’s what I talk about in my book.

It’s not about spa days and expensive vacations (although those are lovely if you can swing them). Self-care can be simple moments you carve out in your day that refuel you and make you feel whole. It’s about carving out those moments in your day for you, the person who existed before kids.

I know it’s been a long time, but do you remember her? She’s still in there, I promise. 

Mental Health Matters, and So Do You

Your mental well-being is as crucial as your child’s health. So, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help if you’re struggling with persistent feelings of hating being a parent.

A therapist is so nice, but even support groups, a trusted friend, or supportive families can be a lifeline during a hard time. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. Professional support can let you know that you’re not alone in this parenting journey, and that others have navigated these stormy seas before you. 

But, finding friends and creating social circles of other parents that get it can create an environment where you help each other out and support one another. This can be online or in person, too. It really doesn’t matter.

What matters is taking care of your mental health. That’s the ultimate form of self-care. Make sure you have enough love for yourself as you do that little person in your life.

Then, take care of you. 

Take time to get some perspective too. 

I loathe it when people tell me to think more positively, or to stop being negative. No. We’re allowed to feel these negative emotions too!

But, sometimes spending a moment when you’re down to remember what it was like to be child free might help. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking of how much time you got to spend with your best friend, and all the freedom you had to take naps, travel, and shower as long as you wanted. I know. I know. Life was good back then. 

But, take a minute to imagine your life without your kid’s arms wrapped around your neck, or the moment your first child was placed in your arms. Imagine missing out on hearing the words, “I love you.” for the first time.

These years with young children at home are so damn hard, but if you’re anything like me, you know that they are some of the best. And as much as you hate to admit it – you will miss it one day. 

Parenting is a journey, not a destination. You might hate it today, but tomorrow, you could be overwhelmed with love and joy as you watch your child achieve something new.

That’s just the way it works. It feels like a damn roller coaster that you can’t get off of, but one day, you’ll find that deep sense of purpose and realize that watching these beautiful humans grow up is one of the greatest gifts. 

But, don’t worry – you don’t have to be there right now.

Right now, you’re allowed to slow down.

Grieve.

And understand that it’s normal to go through moments of hating being a parent. The perspective will come eventually. It doesn’t have to be today. But remember, slowing down and giving yourself time to reflect can sometimes be just what you need to go back to the full-time job that is parenting. 

You’ve Got This

When you find yourself in the depths of “I hate being a parent,” take a step back, breathe, and remember that it’s okay.

Embrace those feelings, seek support, practice self-care, and remember the power of perspective. It really is okay to dislike parts of parenting.

You are a human being and parenting is a lot of pressure.

We all go through similar feelings but we are still great parents. Remember to find your sense of self in all the mess.

Remember to love the person you’re becoming through all of this.

Remember your emotional wellbeing is important, and sometimes that looks like having a total shit day, wallowing in mom guilt for a minute, then picking yourself up and working hard to give yourself the childhood you never had. 

You’re ok, mama. Even if you hate being a parent today. 


1 Comment

« Am I Real? The Question That Started “Mommy Blogging”
Stop Complaining About Motherhood. Here Are 21 Reasons You Shouldn’t »

Comments

  1. Dan says

    January 21, 2024 at 5:53 pm

    I don’t hate being a parent *today*. I hate being a parent. I have hated it for years.

    I have made some mistakes in my time but swapping my 20s for someone who takes and takes and takes with nothing in return, who expects every minute I’m not working to be spent playing with him – it takes the fucking cake.

    I dream of things like spare time, expendable income, a functional relationship with my partner and not taking anti depressants every day just to not kill myself.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
Follow on Instagram

You might also like

The Greatest Gift Is To Watch Your Child Leave You

Mom holding baby in nursery and yawning

When Does Parenting Get Less Exhausting? Newsflash – Never.

Dad holding tired girl after trick or treating during Halloween in the 80's

Halloween in The 80’s Was the Best Ever

mom forcing a smile with fingers and blue background

Stop Complaining About Motherhood. Here Are 21 Reasons You Shouldn’t

Here’s How to Deal With Hating Being a Parent

Copyright © 2025 · Perfection Pending · Designed by Krizzy Designs

Copyright © 2025 · Divine Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in