Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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before we had kids Childhood I'm a Mormon Me Mormon utah

I Never Would Have….

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It’s amazing how one piece of mail can alter an entire life.

When I was 17, I thought I knew everything I wanted in life. Don’t all 17 year olds? I was a senior in high school, and dying to get out of the small Texas town I grew up in, and be that mysterious girl that went away to college and never came back. Everyone would imagine me living a cool life in another state, and I would write letters telling my friends back home how amazing college was. And, I would also get out of my house. Which was probably my biggest motivation of all. But, that’s  every kid’s dream, right? At least, it was mine.©Perfection Pending High School Senior Portrait

My Senior Portrait. I swear I didn’t go to one of those glamour shots places. Although, my husband doesn’t believe me.

So, I did what every self-respecting, innocent, naive, young mormon girl would do, and I applied to BYU (Brigham Young University). I was looking forward to a dating pool of young, clean cut mormon boys, and living among people just like me. I did hope to get a degree (although I had no clue in what at the time) and actually go to school. But, the life I imagined at the strict, mormon, uptight, university seemed picture perfect.

I pretty much told people I was going to BYU. I was in honor society, band, was a graduate of seminary at church, and had good ACT scores. What could go wrong? The anticipation of that big fat envelope coming in the mail was almost too much to take. Everyday, going to the mailbox was nerve wracking. And, then it came.

And, you guessed it….there was no big fat envelope, but a small one with a generic, big fat rejection in it.

I was devastated. I had no plan B really. Except to go to the community college if I didn’t get in. I was so sure that my life was all worked out in a certain way until the letter changed the course of my life forever. Mail carriers really are powerful people when you think about it.

But, my 36 year old self, that did get a Psychology degree (that she never uses), and now spends her days taking care of little people, can look back now and think about all the things that might have never happened if I HAD gotten into BYU.

I imagine that I never would have….

Gone to community college and had one more year with my two best friends. Lots of memories to cherish there.

Started dating a loser which taught me exactly what type of man I DIDN’T want in my life.

Failed out of another big Texas University which taught me a lot about the importance of actually going to class. Although, that economics teacher I had can shove it.

Learned a lot about making mistakes and fixing them.

Learned how to support myself and live off of Ramen noodles and McDonalds.

Learned what it means to truly sacrifice and put God and others before yourself. That’s what going on a full-time LDS mission for a year and a half taught me.

Learned Spanish.

Learned that if worse came to worse, I can survive on my own.

Learned how to use public transportation.

Waited until I was 24 to get married.

Met my husband.

Gone to Europe.

Been a mother to the three most hilarious, awesome, adorable kids on the planet.

My life as I know it now would not be the same. Who’s to say whether it would be better or worse. There’s no way of knowing that. But, I know that there are things that happened in my life that definitely would NOT have happened had that envelope contained something different. And, from what I know about BYU culture now, I may have just hated it down there.

Everything happens for a reason. God is in control….not us. Although, at the time, it seemed the mail had all the power. And, I guess, in some ways, it did. But, when I look at my life and everything that has made me who I am, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 **********

 Do you have a good story about the mail?? Link up below:

rtt-new

 

 

 

 


7 Comments

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Comments

  1. ellen patton says

    December 13, 2013 at 9:16 pm

    Good post! Re: mail. I think letters are important. I love sending mail almost more than receiving it!

    Reply
  2. Valerie says

    December 14, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    I have a huge, life-changing thing happen in my life too. It didn’t involve the postal system but EVERYTHING about it made my life what it is today. We moved to Georgia from Michigan to be closer to my mother’s family as my father’s health declined. I was 17 and had a steady boyfriend who I absolutely planned to marry. Wow, so glad I didn’t. I can’t even tell you!! 😀 God works in wonderful and mysterious ways!
    Great post!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      December 14, 2013 at 4:01 pm

      Thanks!! It’s true. Especially when dating…just the smallest decision can affect your life so dramatically! There were a couple of guys I was dating during those young adult years that sometimes I think that if I had stayed in that relationship, my life would have been SO different. But, I don’t think in a good way, because I’m pretty darn happy with my choice! 🙂

      Reply
  3. The Waiting says

    December 15, 2013 at 10:02 am

    Meredith, I love this so much because I play the “what if” game myself, and my school choices often figure prominently in those games. I only applied to one undergraduate college and I got in, but I applied to a variety of graduate schools and I didn’t get into the one that I really, really wanted. I ended up going to a good school, but it’s so easy to wonder how my life would have been different had I made a different choice. For one, I probably would be straddled with far less student loan debt now. I have to remind myself that money isn’t everything, and I wouldn’t value it as much if I didn’t have so little of it. Granted, I HATE having to know that firsthand, but it’s a good lesson and one that I think makes me stronger.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      December 16, 2013 at 9:53 am

      I know. It’s crazy to think about…and maybe a little unhealthy too? But, still, fun to speculate as long as it doesn’t weigh us down I guess. 🙂

      Reply
  4. Rob says

    December 15, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    You don’t need glamour shots when you’re already glamorous! 🙂 True indeed that we all at times play the what-if game. Life truly is though a massive set of connections. Destroy just 1 and you move onto a completely different future…or who knows, you get hit by a bus (like I did). 🙂 Nice post Meredith

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      December 16, 2013 at 9:52 am

      Thanks Rob!! You’re so nice! You really got hit by a bus??!!

      Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
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Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
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Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
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I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

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WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
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But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

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But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

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