One night, we were putting the kids to bed, and had all the windows open. I was giving my kids a semi-loud lecture on listening when I heard the doorbell ring. My first thought was, “Oh crap. What did they just hear?” The cute older couple had smiles on their faces as I blurted out without thinking, “Did you hear me lecturing my kids?” They smiled like older couples who are done raising their kids do, and said, “No. Did they need lecturing?” I laughed it off while my husband was probably dying to hide somewhere. The kids in their PJs stood there with hair still wet from baths not knowing what to think.
I’m a great mom. I Promise. I just yell a little.
You see, I can imagine that from about my earliest days as an innocent child, I vowed to be the kind of mom that did NOT yell. But, the problem with making promises when you’re a child is that you don’t know what you’re talking about. And, really, anyone who has not birthed a child does not get to comment on my parenting skills, or lack thereof.
Kids will make you lose it in ways you never imagined before. And, the moms that don’t yell? Because, yes, they do exist – well, I’m convinced they just have a different set of DNA than I do. I imagine they are horrible at other things though like laughing when their kids tell fart jokes or having spontaneous dance parties after dinner (two things I’m great at by the way).
So, I feel the need to let the entire world know right now, that I really, truly am a great mom. It’s just that, well, kids make me a little crazier than I expected. And while I have done many things to kick my bad habit, and I feel I’ve made huge improvements in the 11 years I’ve been a parent, I still yell.
So to the lady giving me the side eye in the Wal-Mart parking lot when I’m yelling at my 3 year old to just get buckled for the love of all things important in this world: I promise a I’m a great mom. It’s just that what you didn’t see was how he stared into space for a good solid 2 minutes while I patiently waited for him to turn around and get buckled. And when he did turn around, it was as slow as a sloth with a limp, and I’m pretty sure I saw my own life flash before my eyes while I was waiting. So forgive me for losing it.
I promise, I love my kids, and I’m working hard to kick the habit.
And, to the neighbor that hears me yelling at my kids while the windows are open because they can’t tear themselves away from dancing naked in front of a mirror to focus long enough to get not one, but all of their teeth brushed, I’m a great mom. Promise. I just yell a little because my kids have the attention spans of woodland creatures.
To my friend that sees me lose it at the neighborhood kids because they tried to pick up my kid and put him in a trash can, well, that kid deserves my wrath, because I kind of like the neighbor kids being scared of me.
To the random customer service guy on the other end of the phone that hears me yell at my kid to just be quiet before I lose my ever loving mind, just know – I’m a good mom. They just don’t ever let me talk on the phone.
I have to say that I’ve cut back quite a bit on my yelling. I do think it’s important to have goals for yourself as a mom and try to achieve them. Yes, yelling constantly at kids is damaging – I’m aware. That’s why I try desperately to STOP yelling. But, I also have learned to apologize and mean it. I’ve learned that breaking bad habits takes time. And, I’ve learned that an occasional yell because they are going to be late to school isn’t going to permanently damage anybody.
But, I’m imperfect. I own it. And, therefore, I yell sometimes. Just know, I’m a good mom. And, I probably have a good reason.
And, also know, I’m always working on this goal to be the mom that doesn’t yell at her kids. But, I refuse to quit being the mom that laughs at fart jokes at the dinner table.
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Meredith Ethington is the founder and creator of Perfection Pending, and has been blogging for over 10 years. She is a mom to three, and is desperately trying to help her kids understand sarcasm, and her need for personal space. She recently turned Perfection Pending into a contributor site to share the voices of all the fellow moms she admires. She is a freelance writer and has her first book coming out soon, Mom Life: Perfection Pending. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter where she loves to laugh at herself and admit that while parenting is the best thing ever, it’s also the hardest job on earth.

This is fantastic! I read it 5 times over and over and laughed at different places every time I read it. Thank you for writing this. I fall into this category too!
Thanks Surabhi!
I totally yell. I also have two second tantrums. It helps. I swear.
I also have dance parties and play Trolls and color and have talks about naming feelings.
Some has backfired. When I raise my voice now, the 2yo reminds me that ‘we don’t yell at our family.’ ????
haha. I love it. It is a release a little bit.
omg I yell too! It’s not my fault it’s more my personality my hubby teases that I have no whisper voice and I like to say that I’m passionate about everything it’s loud… Peurto Rican lou… not my fault blame it on my ancestors 🙂
haha. love that!
I yelled at my 4 sons and it devastated me every time . . . well almost every time. Some of the time they needed a good “talking to”. I just want to encourage you with a new thought. When you’re a grandma you will be the grandma (grammie in my case) who never yells. I don’t know how it happened or why it happened but by God’s grace I am now the Grammie who never yells and it is awesome!! You are a good mom, keep it up!
So relieved to see that I’m not the only one!! Love your insights & laughed a lot louder than I should have most likely! ????
Thank you for writing this! That is me in a nut shell. So glad there are mom’s like myself out there. I have tried for the last 14 years not to be a yelling mom. I have improved over the years but I still yell, and as I joked with my neighbor about it hoping she would say that she never hears me (she lives accorss the st. from me) she said “she says you get um Melissa” so I have proof now that my neighbors really do hear me. My husband for sure has been embarrassed because of it a time or 2. I too would just like to say I Love them to death and I am just a little louder while correcting them and helping them to be the best people that can be.
“…And when he did turn around, it was as slow as a sloth with a limp” – I literally bursted out laughing when I read that and can totally relate! Thank you for this!