Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

  • My Books
    • The Mother Load
    • Mom Life: Perfection Pending – The Book
    • Free eBook: Sometimes Motherhood Sucks
    • How To Grow Your FB Following
  • Motherhood
    • Inspiration
    • Encouragement
    • Childhood
    • Humor
    • Parenting Memes
    • Friendship
    • Marriage
  • Kid Ideas
    • Recipes
    • Practical Tips
    • Babies & Toddlers
    • teens and tweens
    • The Elementary School Years
  • Mental Health
    • Mental Health
    • Anxiety
  • About
    • Favorite Posts
    • My Portfolio
    • Privacy & Disclosures

Inspiration Mom Life Motherhood Parenting

Moms Are The Holders

2 shares
  • Share
  • Tweet

To the mamas that feel like at any moment it could fall apart, you’re right it probably could.

We are the glue. We are the ones that are holding it all together.

We’re holding the calendars in our minds, and the schedules in our phones.

We’re holding the big emotions in our hearts that these little people we’re raising have. And those emotions only get bigger as they get older, and our job to hold it all together feels impossible. Because it is.

We’re holding them in our laps and in our arms even when we’re bone tired. We’re holding them during meltdowns, and when they get sick, and hurt, and tell us they hate us.

We’re holding the trash they hand us at the park, and the chewed up gum. The snotty tissue they blew into, and sometimes – yes – even the vomit. Because a mom’s instinct is to catch even that.

We’re holding the get togethers at our house, and we’re holding the dinners at our tables.

We’re holding the hands that want to dart into the oncoming traffic without a care in the world, and we’re holding the hands of big kids that are trying to let go.

We’re holding sit down talks about the hard stuff like hurt feelings, and the opposite sex, and why it’s important to forgive.

Moms are the holders. And, it’s a burden every mama feels in the depths of her soul.

To be the holder means that you are trying so hard to make sure everyone is in the right place literally and emotionally.

You see, without the holders, it probably would fall apart, and that’s maybe something no one ever told you about motherhood.

The holding gets heavy, too. When they are colicky babies and need to be held all day to when they’re toddlers and still want to be carried. Then one day they’re teenagers and think they don’t need to be carried anymore. But, you’re there, waiting to hold them if they fall apart.

And, the holding keeps you up at night because it’s a constant balancing act of who needs you more and how are you going to remember it all, and do it all, and be it all to these other humans that expect you to be always be there.

To be the glue. To hold it all together.

Some days, you do it gracefully and it feels like you are super glue, and other days you’re more of a cheap brand of scotch tape that you think won’t last another minute.

But, the beauty of the mama of the family, the holders if you will, is that every single day we are still there. Hanging on. Lifting up. Trying hard to keep it all going with whatever we have in us that day.

We’re holding strong even when it gets tough for them, and tough for us.

It really doesn’t matter if you’re scotch tape, or super glue.

They know that even though they are getting heavy, you’re ready to patch it back together, stitch it, tape it, glue it, fix it, and keep it all together.

And, yes – at any moment you’re worried it’s going to fall apart, because maybe you’re feeling like your arms are about to give out.

Maybe you’re feeling like whatever brand of glue you are today can’t hold on another second.

But, it always does. That’s the beauty. The mama’s arms are always there, holding it all together even when we’re falling apart. And, even though you realize it’s all a fragile creation that you really don’t have that much control over, you’re willing to try to hold it all.

And, they know that.

That’s what makes you the most reliable glue on earth.

https://www.facebook.com/PerfectionPending/photos/a.506268392802507/2543053062457353/?type=3&theater


1 Comment

« Motherhood Today Feels Like At Any Moment It Could All Fall Apart
Try Hard. Screw Up. Try Hard Again Tomorrow. »

Comments

  1. Rene says

    February 17, 2020 at 7:49 pm

    This is soooo true!! And it’s even hard when you are the ONLY one that realized everything in this message is 💯% true. And it makes it even harder when your husband has 2 children (35 y/o who IS COMPLETELY self centered. And a 28 y/o that is self-centered, thinks he better than everyone) that yell at me, call me horrible names and accuse me of things, they know I would never do or say. I truly want to quit.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
Load More Follow on Instagram

You might also like

The Greatest Gift Is To Watch Your Child Leave You

Mom holding baby in nursery and yawning

When Does Parenting Get Less Exhausting? Newsflash – Never.

Dad holding tired girl after trick or treating during Halloween in the 80's

Halloween in The 80’s Was the Best Ever

mom forcing a smile with fingers and blue background

Stop Complaining About Motherhood. Here Are 21 Reasons You Shouldn’t

Here’s How to Deal With Hating Being a Parent

Copyright © 2025 · Perfection Pending · Designed by Krizzy Designs

Copyright © 2025 · Divine Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

2 shares