A funny thing happened on the way to my kitchen the other day. I was simply taking a dish and putting it in the sink, when I hear from the basement the two year old yell, “Mommy!” I realized that he sensed my movement. Through a movie, and an entire floor away, he sensed I had moved. Does anyone else find that alarming?
You see, all was quiet for a good 20 minutes before that. The three of them were having some down time, and so was mommy. They were watching a movie, perfectly content to be still, and not scream, or yell, or argue, or fight, or do any of the other things 3 little kids do when they’re bored and need my attention.
Yet, I made the mistake of movement. Did he need anything? Nope. You see, the funny part of the story, is I had forgotten that my children have a sixth sense. People say that moms do, but children do too. You know what that sixth sense is? It’s the ability to sense peace and harmony, and a mother’s quiet moment.
Maybe you think you’ll sneak in and take a shower while they watch their morning cartoons. But, they sense it. It’s like something rises in the air, and they suddenly snap to action….Mommy is having a moment to herself! I must. find. her. And, stop her!
With superhero like swiftness, they sniff you out and find you. They know. They always know.
Maybe you try to sneakily unwrap your favorite candy bar. They hear you from three rooms away.
You try to sit down and read a chapter of a book, and someone poops.
You think you could straighten a closet, and suddenly little toddlers want to help.
You want to talk on the phone, and they spill a costco sized bag of quinoa t your feet.
It doesn’t matter how quiet and stealth like you want to be, they have the sense of mommy tranquility, and they can zap it to pieces with their mere presence.
You think to yourself, “They’re so quiet. I’ll just lay down and close my eyes for a minute” They read your thoughts. They immediately need to get into an argument over an object that no one has cared about for the last 273 days, but all of the sudden, they all need it. WANT IT. And, all hell breaks loose. Fighting ensues, and blood is drawn. They win again.
Or maybe you think it’s a perfect time to start dinner. They are all playing a game in the other room. Cooperating for once, and they had a snack 21 minutes ago. Seems like the perfect time, right?
Then with the first clank of a dish, they decide they will die of starvation right then and there if they don’t get food immediately.
It’s never the perfect time to cook. EVER. Because they sense the fact that you are about to cook, and suddenly become ravenous wolves that need food that very instant or they will surely die a slow and painful death.
They key is to avoid eye contact, try not to move, and if you absolutely have to, do it slowly. But, even then, they will most likely sense your peace and tranquility anyway.
My solution? Never seem happy. Works like a charm.