A funny thing happened on the way to my kitchen the other day. I was simply taking a dish and putting it in the sink, when I hear from the basement the two year old yell, “Mommy!” I realized that he sensed my movement. Through a movie, and an entire floor away, he sensed I had moved. Does anyone else find that alarming?
You see, all was quiet for a good 20 minutes before that. The three of them were having some down time, and so was mommy. They were watching a movie, perfectly content to be still, and not scream, or yell, or argue, or fight, or do any of the other things 3 little kids do when they’re bored and need my attention.
Yet, I made the mistake of movement. Did he need anything? Nope. You see, the funny part of the story, is I had forgotten that my children have a sixth sense. People say that moms do, but children do too. You know what that sixth sense is? It’s the ability to sense peace and harmony, and a mother’s quiet moment.
Maybe you think you’ll sneak in and take a shower while they watch their morning cartoons. But, they sense it. It’s like something rises in the air, and they suddenly snap to action….Mommy is having a moment to herself! I must. find. her. And, stop her!
With superhero like swiftness, they sniff you out and find you. They know. They always know.
Maybe you try to sneakily unwrap your favorite candy bar. They hear you from three rooms away.
You try to sit down and read a chapter of a book, and someone poops.
You think you could straighten a closet, and suddenly little toddlers want to help.
You want to talk on the phone, and they spill a costco sized bag of quinoa t your feet.
It doesn’t matter how quiet and stealth like you want to be, they have the sense of mommy tranquility, and they can zap it to pieces with their mere presence.
You think to yourself, “They’re so quiet. I’ll just lay down and close my eyes for a minute” They read your thoughts. They immediately need to get into an argument over an object that no one has cared about for the last 273 days, but all of the sudden, they all need it. WANT IT. And, all hell breaks loose. Fighting ensues, and blood is drawn. They win again.
Or maybe you think it’s a perfect time to start dinner. They are all playing a game in the other room. Cooperating for once, and they had a snack 21 minutes ago. Seems like the perfect time, right?
Then with the first clank of a dish, they decide they will die of starvation right then and there if they don’t get food immediately.
It’s never the perfect time to cook. EVER. Because they sense the fact that you are about to cook, and suddenly become ravenous wolves that need food that very instant or they will surely die a slow and painful death.
They key is to avoid eye contact, try not to move, and if you absolutely have to, do it slowly. But, even then, they will most likely sense your peace and tranquility anyway.
My solution? Never seem happy. Works like a charm.
HAhahaha, “avoid eye contact”. That is so true!!! Mine do it to me when I’m on the phone every single time!!
YES!!!
Yes!! This post is SO true. I think about it daily. The moment that the kids are quiet and I think that I will rest or get something done for one minute, I swear, they sense it and run up to me asking for a drink, snacks, or a million other things. Errrgghhh!
My 9 yr old son, talks to dead people. It’s only at night when he is laying still in bed. He gives me answers; that, their is NO WAY, he would know. Does anyone else have this problem? My husband doesn’t want me to encourage it. He is afraid he will turn into a John Edward’s and the dead will be calling on him all the time. I, however, think it’s a Gift to help people. He has already helped So Many.
The funny thing about this sixth sense (and you are so right about it) is that unfortunately, they don’t seem to outgrow it either. I have two teenagers plus a ten year-old and whenever I sit down to relax or eat or take a few minutes to myself, they inevitably need something — only ten more years until they are all in college or beyond!
Ha!! That’s funny. I was hoping by the time they become tweens/teens that they will ignore me. 😉
And what is it with needing something as soon as you sit on the toilet – bypassing daddy altogether?
for real!
YUP! Exactly. They just KNOW. I especially relate to the dinner part. My son could still be eating a snack when I decide to make some real food. And then he MUST HAVE dinner right then! Argh. It’s kindof sweet though, right? And maybe a little bit creepy, too. Love the bat-kids photo!
Kind of…maybe…sort of sweet. 🙂
Ugh, yes, exactly!!! How does this happen? The worst is if I tiptoe into my office and sit down at my computer. As soon as my butt hits the chair… cue calling for Mommy! It’s like we’re living in a sitcom. One that’s not always very funny. :/ So glad you linked up with us today, I always love reading your posts!
Yes. They don’t like me at the computer too much either. I guess I probably spend too much time there. :/
Haha soooooo true!!
Seriously! And it starts way too young. No matter how fast asleep my two-month-old seems to be, she wakes up crying the second I try to creep into the shower.
Yep. It’s innate!!
Gosh I can totally relate to this. I only have one child, so i know my complaints aren’t taken as seriously but my kid pulls this shit every time i sit down to eat dinner. I will have the fork en route to my mouth and BAM, that kid needs something. After I sit down for dinner, I don’t actually eat for at least another 15 minutes, crazy!
Anyways, I feel your pain and you have it x3!
Ummm. It is still equally annoying with one!! You have my sympathy! 🙂
This is so very true! Even if I need to use the bathroom, someone suddenly needs me. The only time I get a break is when they are in school. It almost feels odd.
I hear my wife saying the same thing! Weird thing is, is that she accuses me of having the same sixth sense. Maybe it’s cause that last time I interrupted her bath to see if she’d order a pizza…hmm.
Hmmmm. Could be! Thanks for coming on over!
This post is fantastic! And I really hope the quinoa scenario never actually happened because oh. my. god. LOL!
Omg so true!!! I am laughing my butt off right now, quietly so my little monster doesn’t hear me ????????