One thing I love/hate about parenting is all the little surprises that you never realized were going to be an actual part of parenting. You know what I’m talking about right?
The things that you’d never expect to hear from your own lips that sound just like your mother talking, or the unexpected things your kids say and do. Parenting is full of surprises. It’s hilarious, and it’s terrifying at the same time. Because the unexpected is around every corner. And, some days nothing surprises me, while other days, I’m just in awe of being a parent and the unexpected things that brings to my life.
The other day, my 5 year old was yelling at my 2 year old in his best drill sergeant voice. I was listening from the other room.
“DO YOU BELIVE IN JESUS!?” he yelled.
And I heard a tiny voice yell back, “YES!”
“DO YOU BELIEVE IN SUPERHEROES!?” he yelled.
“YES!” was the immediate response.
I mean, seriously. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. And, I wonder, if I had been into reading mommy blogs before I had kids, would I have been scared to death of the things that Moms blog about? My guess is no. I would have naively still entered the world of parenting thinking, “My kid won’t ever do that.” or “I won’t ever do that.” or “That won’t happen to us.”
When you’re pre-kids, you can’t even wrap your head around what having your own will be like because maybe you have some interactions with nieces or nephews, or friends’ kids and it’s so easy to erase whatever negatives that you might witness with thoughts like, “Oh isn’t that cute” or “What are THEY doing wrong?” or, “That’s HILARIOUS” when you’re on the outside looking in. You just don’t get that one day, those same experiences will likely happen to you in one form or another.
And, I started thinking about some of life’s little surprises that have happened to me recently that I never expected.
They will want to play on your lap and your FACE. My two year old feels like my lap is his personal playground. If I’m eating, he’s standing next to me with a toy in my lap playing. If I’m on the computer, same thing. If I’m sitting at all, he is there. Yet, the surprising thing was the day when I had too many things thrown at or touch my face in a 24 hour period that I tweeted this out:
Apparently my kids think MY FACE is their playground. Help me.
— Meredith Ethington (@PerfectPending) March 6, 2014
You will catch vomit in your hands, and probably get peed on too many times to count. Just this week, my 2 year old decided that shoving an entire piece of bread in his mouth was a good idea. The nice thing is that the body works and he managed to get it out as you would expect by throwing it up so it wasn’t lodged in his throat blocking his tiny airway. The thing that always surprises me though is the feeling that I need to catch it. I did.
They will wake you up even when they’re 7 years old. Honestly, it still surprises me how often I wake up in the middle of the night when technically they all “sleep through the night”. My 7 year old still wakes me up because she’s thirsty, or had a bad dream, or hot, or cold, or whatever. There is no true sleeping through the night ever again. I naively thought there would be, but not in my house anyway.
Ridiculous things will come out of your mouth. There are too many of these types of things to count, but I recently actually said this:
I just heard myself say to my 2yo: No. You don’t need to brush your teeth now. Finish your sucker instead. Mother of the year right here
— Meredith Ethington (@PerfectPending) February 28, 2014
You will negotiate with dictators and terrorists, otherwise known as toddlers. I don’t know how many times that I’ve begged and pleaded for the simplest things. They are in control, and they know it. So negotiation is inevitable. Bribery happens. And, you will fail to follow through sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It happens to the best of us.
It will feel like they are plotting against you. And, they very well might be. I don’t know about you, but I swear there are times when I feel my kids have conspired to make my life miserable. Sure, one of them may not be that verbal, but the power between siblings is real. It’s super human. Like yesterday, for daylight savings time, they all got up an hour earlier than normal. I’m pretty sure they did not communicate this plan to each other ahead of time, but it’s eery how they all just knew to do it. So that was fun.
They will have quirks that you feel the need to explain. My 5 year old has some extremely sensitive eyes. You can just say the word eyes or talk about his eyes, or tell him to look at you in the eyes and his eyes will start to water. This past week, he had another ear infection, and his eyes became so sensitive it looked like he was getting pink eye. He wasn’t. It cleared up on its own, but I had to explain his eye sensitivity to friends, other parents, and his teacher. The weird thing is that he is AMAZING at the staring game. The kid does not need to blink. Either that or he’s a sociopath.
They will figure out potty talk entirely on their own. I would hear other kids do this and think that the parents must talk like this. But, I will promise you that my kids did not learn this behavior from me. Suddenly, talking about anything potty related is hilarious. And, it usually happens at dinner.
Overheard as my kids were playing: 5: I just double tooted. 7: Let’s play the fall into the toilet game. I don’t even want to know.
— Meredith Ethington (@PerfectPending) March 1, 2014
If there is one thing I know for sure, being a parent will never be boring. And, I’m grateful for that. Even if it makes me a crazy person.
PS-You should totally be following me on twitter.
Oh My Gosh this was funny! I have this visual of you trying to just sit on the couch and you’ve got two or more kiddos scrambling to get on your face……and then another one of your sociopath staring others down. My older son Si has no tear ducts so his eyes water *constantly* and I feel so bad for him:(
Sad. No tear ducts??? Like literally? 2 out of my 3 had clogged ones, but NONE?
You totally had me laughing at the 2 year old in your face – my son’s the same. I don’t get it. You were there, I’ve been right here, now you want to be up and over the side of my chair and on top of me for what reason? He does it to his 4 year old brother too. This is usually how “get out of my space” fist fights start.
Oh I just snort laughed… it’s so true, so funny, and if I can manage to get sleep enough to blog about what my two year old is like when she’s sick I’ll join the blog hop.
we had a night of this interaction repeated over and over.
Cover me up!
Kiss me!
Now GO DOWNSTAIRS!
and a time change on top of it. I think Oreos and Diet Coke might be necessary today…
I’m already drinking my diet coke as we speak. It’s always necessary for me!
Yup! My daughter is nearly 7 and sometimes wakes up at night because she’s “scared” or her stomach needs to eat.
And she has jumped on my face before.
My boys are all young men now but this so reminds me of when my to youngest were sharing a room. They were in their bunk beds preparing to sleep when I heard “I love you, Alex.’ “I love you too, Shane” I want too yell, “I heard that” but I bite my lip. The very next morning those too were fighting at the breakfast table and I thought, where’s the love now!
Aww. How sweet though! 🙂
The thought of you trying to catch the vomited bread just makes me wonder why YOU of all people would try to do that! LOL!
I have NO idea. 🙂
Yup. I can see all of this. Oh, wait. My kid likes to wipe his peed on hand on my clothes. Oh well. He’s three.
hahah! Yes, the amount of stuff that gets wiped on me is unbelievable! 🙂
LOL this made me bust up laughing, Meredith!! And what’s spook is that I pulled your post up at the exact same time I’m listening to an NPR show about Superheroes. For realz. Oh wow did you bring back memories of the two boys I had. Peed on – check. Having one of them sleep in bed with us when he was sick and barf all over me – check. The terrorist demands and me giving in because it was far easier- check! That one REALLY made me laugh! But, right about the time they hit 4-5 years old is when the genuine fun started. Their mom traveled all of the time and I loved road trips. So, we always headed off somewhere and I would turn it into a big Indiana Jones adventure. Thank you for the Memory Lane reflection! 🙂
Ha! You’re welcome Mike. Glad you enjoyed it! 🙂
Meredith, Haven’t you always wondered where those famous comedians got their start? Just think how they will be able to support you when they get rich. Keep up the good mom work. It will pay off!!
Well, my 5 year old is definitely on his way. He makes me laugh every day.
Ooh the joys of parenthood…. I haven’t been puked on (my hubby did, his comment was: “Now I’m truly christened as his daddy” while laughing – it was my son who did it), I have been peed on by my stepson (aren’t our boys sweet? I guess that christened me as his mommy :D), we learned not to give our daughter blue Popsicles (diaper surprise right there-I didn’t even think it can be THAT color), and the other day I caught myself saying: “Geez Lesley, don’t lick your phone!” to our daughter.
I will be linking up today, household has been overrun with the flu….
Oh shoot! Sorry you guys are sick. No worries, it will be open all week. 🙂
I think I left my pride and dignity at the hospital when I had my first child. It’s amazing when you think back at some of the things you’ve had to do or clean up along the way. I could never have imagined doing that before I became a parent.
Me either!
Yep, I agree with all of these. I have said lately something I swore I never would., “because I said so”. I hands down SWORE I wouldn’t do it, but 6 yr olds are relentless and sometimes that is just the best answer. She also has been waking me up the past week for random stuff….and, the potty talk, geez! what is so fascinating! It feels like it will never run its course…and yes, ALWAYS at the dinner table!
Anyway, I guess in a nutshell I just wanted to say Amen mama!
Yes, I’ve said that too. And, I hate it every time it comes out of my mouth!
Seriously! You’ve just went over my day! And at times at even say to my self “today could be the day I really do go crazy”. I guess I should just except it, “I’m a mom and I am crazy”! Great post. Hope you have a great week!
Thanks Sarah! And thanks for linking up your post too! 🙂
I continue to read your blogs with amazement and amusement. Oh, if only, if only…….
That is so funny, a little sad, and very true. We are staring down the barrel of parenting a >gulp!< teenager (only a couple of months to go as pre-teen parents) and those surprises and not-so-surprises still occur. Consider yourself warned. 😉 I will say, that after becoming a parent, I have had infinity more grace for other parents. To the point where I've actually gone up to other mothers who were obviously struggling and told them that they were doing a good job. Parenting: it's not for sissies.
No it’s not! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂 Glad to follow a fellow East Texan.
Ha ha – I love this in a bitter sweet kind of way…am particularly keen on those tweets of yours…am off to follow you now…you and your kids might just brighten up my day! Thanks for linking up to the Parenting Pin it Party xx
Thanks for stoping by. 🙂
That’s great that you’re tweeting because you’ll remember these things, and one day, you’ll miss the laughs you get. Thanks for linking up with the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Party. I have pinned your post to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Board!
I just found your Manic Monday linkup! It sounds like just what I need to read about. I am a nutsy cuckoo Mommy to 9 kids. My oldest is 15 this month (Lord help me) and my youngest is 6 months. Right this very second, we have the stomach flu going through our house. Not fun. Thanks for letting me link up!
Awesome! Glad you found me. 🙂