Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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Humor In the Motherhood Motherhood Parenting Uncategorized

8 Hilarious Things That Surprised Me About Motherhood

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One thing I love/hate about parenting is all the little surprises that you never realized were going to be an actual part of parenting. You know what I’m talking about right?

The things that you’d never expect to hear from your own lips that sound just like your mother talking, or the unexpected things your kids say and do. Parenting is full of surprises. It’s hilarious, and it’s terrifying at the same time. Because the unexpected is around every corner. And, some days nothing surprises me, while other days, I’m just in awe of being a parent and the unexpected things that brings to my life.

The other day, my 5 year old was yelling at my 2 year old in his best drill sergeant voice. I was listening from the other room.

“DO YOU BELIVE IN JESUS!?” he yelled.

And I heard a tiny voice yell back, “YES!”

“DO YOU BELIEVE IN SUPERHEROES!?” he yelled.

“YES!” was the immediate response.

I mean, seriously. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. And, I wonder, if I had been into reading mommy blogs before I had kids, would I have been scared to death of the things that Moms blog about? My guess is no. I would have naively still entered the world of parenting thinking, “My kid won’t ever do that.” or “I won’t ever do that.” or “That won’t happen to us.”

When you’re pre-kids, you can’t even wrap your head around what having your own will be like because maybe you have some interactions with nieces or nephews, or friends’ kids and it’s so easy to erase whatever negatives that you might witness with thoughts like, “Oh isn’t that cute” or “What are THEY doing wrong?” or, “That’s HILARIOUS” when you’re on the outside looking in. You just don’t get that one day, those same experiences will likely happen to you in one form or another.

And, I started thinking about some of life’s little surprises that have happened to me recently that I never expected.

They will want to play on your lap and your FACE. My two year old feels like my lap is his personal playground. If I’m eating, he’s standing next to me with a toy in my lap playing. If I’m on the computer, same thing. If I’m sitting at all, he is there. Yet, the surprising thing was the day when I had too many things thrown at or touch my face in a 24 hour period that I tweeted this out:

Apparently my kids think MY FACE is their playground. Help me.

— Meredith Ethington (@PerfectPending) March 6, 2014

You will catch vomit in your hands, and probably get peed on too many times to count. Just this week, my 2 year old decided that shoving an entire piece of bread in his mouth was a good idea. The nice thing is that the body works and he managed to get it out as you would expect by throwing it up so it wasn’t lodged in his throat blocking his tiny airway. The thing that always surprises me though is the feeling that I need to catch it. I did.

They will wake you up even when they’re 7 years old. Honestly, it still surprises me how often I wake up in the middle of the night when technically they all “sleep through the night”.  My 7 year old still wakes me up because she’s thirsty, or had a bad dream, or hot, or cold, or whatever. There is no true sleeping through the night ever again. I naively thought there would be, but not in my house anyway.

Ridiculous things will come out of your mouth. There are too many of these types of things to count, but I recently actually said this:

I just heard myself say to my 2yo: No. You don’t need to brush your teeth now. Finish your sucker instead. Mother of the year right here

— Meredith Ethington (@PerfectPending) February 28, 2014

You will negotiate with dictators and terrorists, otherwise known as toddlers. I don’t know how many times that I’ve begged and pleaded for the simplest things. They are in control, and they know it. So negotiation is inevitable. Bribery happens. And, you will fail to follow through sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It happens to the best of us.

It will feel like they are plotting against you. And, they very well might be. I don’t know about you, but I swear there are times when I feel my kids have conspired to make my life miserable. Sure, one of them may not be that verbal, but the power between siblings is real. It’s super human. Like yesterday, for daylight savings time, they all got up an hour earlier than normal. I’m pretty sure they did not communicate this plan to each other ahead of time, but it’s eery how they all just knew to do it. So that was fun.

They will have quirks that you feel the need to explain. My 5 year old has some extremely sensitive eyes. You can just say the word eyes or talk about his eyes, or tell him to look at you in the eyes and his eyes will start to water. This past week, he had another ear infection, and his eyes became so sensitive it looked like he was getting pink eye. He wasn’t. It cleared up on its own, but I had to explain his eye sensitivity to friends, other parents, and his teacher. The weird thing is that he is AMAZING at the staring game. The kid does not need to blink. Either that or he’s a sociopath.

They will figure out potty talk entirely on their own. I would hear other kids do this and think that the parents must talk like this. But, I will promise you that my kids did not learn this behavior from me. Suddenly, talking about anything potty related is hilarious. And, it usually happens at dinner.

Overheard as my kids were playing: 5: I just double tooted. 7: Let’s play the fall into the toilet game. I don’t even want to know.

— Meredith Ethington (@PerfectPending) March 1, 2014

If there is one thing I know for sure, being a parent will never be boring. And, I’m grateful for that. Even if it makes me a crazy person.

PS-You should totally be following me on twitter.

 


32 Comments

« Imperfectly Patient in the Sea of my Frustrations
Why I Don’t Want My Daughter to Have a Best Friend »

Comments

  1. Michelle says

    March 10, 2014 at 11:26 am

    Oh My Gosh this was funny! I have this visual of you trying to just sit on the couch and you’ve got two or more kiddos scrambling to get on your face……and then another one of your sociopath staring others down. My older son Si has no tear ducts so his eyes water *constantly* and I feel so bad for him:(

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 10, 2014 at 12:02 pm

      Sad. No tear ducts??? Like literally? 2 out of my 3 had clogged ones, but NONE?

      Reply
  2. Liz Solomon says

    March 10, 2014 at 12:10 pm

    You totally had me laughing at the 2 year old in your face – my son’s the same. I don’t get it. You were there, I’ve been right here, now you want to be up and over the side of my chair and on top of me for what reason? He does it to his 4 year old brother too. This is usually how “get out of my space” fist fights start.

    Reply
  3. Jessie says

    March 10, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    Oh I just snort laughed… it’s so true, so funny, and if I can manage to get sleep enough to blog about what my two year old is like when she’s sick I’ll join the blog hop.
    we had a night of this interaction repeated over and over.
    Cover me up!
    Kiss me!
    Now GO DOWNSTAIRS!

    and a time change on top of it. I think Oreos and Diet Coke might be necessary today…

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 10, 2014 at 1:22 pm

      I’m already drinking my diet coke as we speak. It’s always necessary for me!

      Reply
  4. Amber says

    March 10, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    Yup! My daughter is nearly 7 and sometimes wakes up at night because she’s “scared” or her stomach needs to eat.

    And she has jumped on my face before.

    Reply
  5. Susie (The Esthetic Goddess) says

    March 10, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    My boys are all young men now but this so reminds me of when my to youngest were sharing a room. They were in their bunk beds preparing to sleep when I heard “I love you, Alex.’ “I love you too, Shane” I want too yell, “I heard that” but I bite my lip. The very next morning those too were fighting at the breakfast table and I thought, where’s the love now!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 10, 2014 at 3:30 pm

      Aww. How sweet though! 🙂

      Reply
  6. Rayna Drago says

    March 10, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    The thought of you trying to catch the vomited bread just makes me wonder why YOU of all people would try to do that! LOL!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 10, 2014 at 3:30 pm

      I have NO idea. 🙂

      Reply
  7. Kim says

    March 10, 2014 at 4:03 pm

    Yup. I can see all of this. Oh, wait. My kid likes to wipe his peed on hand on my clothes. Oh well. He’s three.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 10, 2014 at 4:09 pm

      hahah! Yes, the amount of stuff that gets wiped on me is unbelievable! 🙂

      Reply
  8. Mike says

    March 10, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    LOL this made me bust up laughing, Meredith!! And what’s spook is that I pulled your post up at the exact same time I’m listening to an NPR show about Superheroes. For realz. Oh wow did you bring back memories of the two boys I had. Peed on – check. Having one of them sleep in bed with us when he was sick and barf all over me – check. The terrorist demands and me giving in because it was far easier- check! That one REALLY made me laugh! But, right about the time they hit 4-5 years old is when the genuine fun started. Their mom traveled all of the time and I loved road trips. So, we always headed off somewhere and I would turn it into a big Indiana Jones adventure. Thank you for the Memory Lane reflection! 🙂

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 11, 2014 at 8:10 am

      Ha! You’re welcome Mike. Glad you enjoyed it! 🙂

      Reply
  9. Jennifer Steck says

    March 10, 2014 at 9:14 pm

    Meredith, Haven’t you always wondered where those famous comedians got their start? Just think how they will be able to support you when they get rich. Keep up the good mom work. It will pay off!!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 11, 2014 at 8:10 am

      Well, my 5 year old is definitely on his way. He makes me laugh every day.

      Reply
  10. Ana Lynn says

    March 11, 2014 at 1:48 am

    Ooh the joys of parenthood…. I haven’t been puked on (my hubby did, his comment was: “Now I’m truly christened as his daddy” while laughing – it was my son who did it), I have been peed on by my stepson (aren’t our boys sweet? I guess that christened me as his mommy :D), we learned not to give our daughter blue Popsicles (diaper surprise right there-I didn’t even think it can be THAT color), and the other day I caught myself saying: “Geez Lesley, don’t lick your phone!” to our daughter.

    I will be linking up today, household has been overrun with the flu….

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 11, 2014 at 8:11 am

      Oh shoot! Sorry you guys are sick. No worries, it will be open all week. 🙂

      Reply
  11. Nicola Young says

    March 11, 2014 at 1:53 am

    I think I left my pride and dignity at the hospital when I had my first child. It’s amazing when you think back at some of the things you’ve had to do or clean up along the way. I could never have imagined doing that before I became a parent.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 11, 2014 at 8:11 am

      Me either!

      Reply
  12. Kerry says

    March 11, 2014 at 5:32 am

    Yep, I agree with all of these. I have said lately something I swore I never would., “because I said so”. I hands down SWORE I wouldn’t do it, but 6 yr olds are relentless and sometimes that is just the best answer. She also has been waking me up the past week for random stuff….and, the potty talk, geez! what is so fascinating! It feels like it will never run its course…and yes, ALWAYS at the dinner table!
    Anyway, I guess in a nutshell I just wanted to say Amen mama!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 11, 2014 at 8:12 am

      Yes, I’ve said that too. And, I hate it every time it comes out of my mouth!

      Reply
  13. Sarah @ Thank You Honey says

    March 11, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    Seriously! You’ve just went over my day! And at times at even say to my self “today could be the day I really do go crazy”. I guess I should just except it, “I’m a mom and I am crazy”! Great post. Hope you have a great week!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 11, 2014 at 6:27 pm

      Thanks Sarah! And thanks for linking up your post too! 🙂

      Reply
  14. sue says

    March 11, 2014 at 10:34 pm

    I continue to read your blogs with amazement and amusement. Oh, if only, if only…….

    Reply
  15. Pary Moppins says

    March 12, 2014 at 10:33 am

    That is so funny, a little sad, and very true. We are staring down the barrel of parenting a >gulp!< teenager (only a couple of months to go as pre-teen parents) and those surprises and not-so-surprises still occur. Consider yourself warned. 😉 I will say, that after becoming a parent, I have had infinity more grace for other parents. To the point where I've actually gone up to other mothers who were obviously struggling and told them that they were doing a good job. Parenting: it's not for sissies.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 12, 2014 at 12:35 pm

      No it’s not! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂 Glad to follow a fellow East Texan.

      Reply
  16. Helen Neale (@KiddyCharts) says

    March 14, 2014 at 10:21 am

    Ha ha – I love this in a bitter sweet kind of way…am particularly keen on those tweets of yours…am off to follow you now…you and your kids might just brighten up my day! Thanks for linking up to the Parenting Pin it Party xx

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 14, 2014 at 10:24 am

      Thanks for stoping by. 🙂

      Reply
  17. Tammy @ creativekkids.com says

    March 14, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    That’s great that you’re tweeting because you’ll remember these things, and one day, you’ll miss the laughs you get. Thanks for linking up with the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Party. I have pinned your post to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Board!

    Reply
  18. Jaime says

    March 15, 2014 at 10:31 am

    I just found your Manic Monday linkup! It sounds like just what I need to read about. I am a nutsy cuckoo Mommy to 9 kids. My oldest is 15 this month (Lord help me) and my youngest is 6 months. Right this very second, we have the stomach flu going through our house. Not fun. Thanks for letting me link up!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 15, 2014 at 12:01 pm

      Awesome! Glad you found me. 🙂

      Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
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But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
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Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

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Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
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