Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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Encouragement Family Gratitude Inspiration Mom Life

Thank Goodness For The Kids We Get To Raise

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Do you ever have those moments where you look over at your kid and you’re like – YES. That’s MY kid. I made that. Look at her. Tonight I had one of those moments as my oldest was getting herself ready for bed. I thought to myself – Thank goodness I get to raise this kid.

I totally feel that way about all three of my kids

She hadn’t done anything, in particular, that was extraordinary that day. But, I got a glimpse of the extraordinary person she is becoming.

Yet, somehow we forget to give ourselves some credit. I believe for the most part that kids are born with their own little personalities that they will grow up with, and there’s not much you can do to change it. BUT, I also believe we have to give ourselves some credit as the parents for helping to mold them a teeny tiny bit.
 
So, yeah, every once in a while when I’m not riddled with Mom guilt I think – DANG I’m doing good.
 
But I also tell myself, Thank goodness for the kids I get to raise.
 
Do you ever have those moments where you look over at your kid and you're like - YES. That's MY kid. I made that. Look at her. Tonight I had one of those moments as my oldest was getting herself ready for bed. I thought to myself - Thank goodness I get to raise this kid. I totally feel that way about all three of my kids. #momlife #motherhood #parenting #thisisreallife

You know why? Because I guarantee you that they are teaching me so much more than I’m probably ever going to teach them.

 They are teaching me about myself, but they are also teaching me about the world.
 
They are slowing me down, and they are making me stronger.
 
They are testing my patience, and they are amazing me with their brilliance.
 
They are smart, capable, kind, and GOOD even without me. I know that they came that way. I know that even if I were zapped from the earth tomorrow, they would still turn out to be decent good people.

So, how lucky am I to get to raise these kids? SUPER lucky.

I get to watch a human being grow physically, mentally and spiritually.
 
I get to see them figure things out on their own, learn to do things that even they didn’t know they were capable of, and I get to see them conquer fears, and overcome obstacles.
 
Is there really a greater blessing than that? I don’t think so.
Do you ever have those moments where you look over at your kid and you're like - YES. That's MY kid. I made that. Look at her. Tonight I had one of those moments as my oldest was getting herself ready for bed. I thought to myself - Thank goodness I get to raise this kid. I totally feel that way about all three of my kids. #momlife #motherhood #parenting #thisisreallife
 
I joke a lot about the annoying parts of parenting. But, the truth is – as parents, we are SO lucky to get to do this.
 
We’re so lucky to get to raise the particular kids we’ve been given.
 
I believe that they were meant for us, and we were meant for them, and it’s this perfect little universe right inside our own homes that we can create that isn’t REALLY perfect, but it’s perfect for us.
 
Yes, it’s hard and exhausting, and infuriating being a parent some days.
 
Yes, I want to run away other days.

Some days, I think – HOW THE HELL did I get myself into this parenting thing?

But, then some days, I look over at them and think – DANG. Thank goodness I get to raise this particular kid from start to finish. She’s smart and kind, and good. Or, thank goodness I get to raise these boys to be good men. 
 
Thank goodness, I get to raise the one that tests me and makes me laugh and teaches me and infuriates me all in one day.
 
That kid was made for me, and I’m made for him, and wow – it’s a beautiful thing.
 
Some days, I can’t help but think – thank goodness I get to raise these kids.


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  1. Mama88 says

    September 27, 2019 at 3:19 pm

    Thanks Meredith I worry about my little one bit we have to ask as they grow because soon they’re off to college and things change bit you always be a parent and your children will need to lean on you in certain ways . I love them they keep me going and yes some mornings we ask not cry but we ponder those things every now and again ….

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Meredith Ethington
Working on figuring out my mission as we speak. ❤️
Is anyone else like this? #dietcokeaddict #pebblei Is anyone else like this? #dietcokeaddict #pebbleice #adhd #momlifebelike
Hello friends, it’s me. Meredith. Here are a f Hello friends, it’s me. Meredith. 

Here are a few things I’d tell you if I could call you all up: 

❤️ It’s ok to say no to things.

❤️ Your kiddos don’t need perfection - they need real. Emotional, Messy, flawed, etc. It helps them know their emotions are valid. 

❤️ Having anxiety or depression does not mean you’re an inadequate parent. 

❤️ Never be ashamed of asking for help or going on medication if necessary. 

❤️Kids can be draining. Take time for yourself. I promise you’ll be able to be a better, more present parent if you do this. 

❤️ Boundaries are your friend. People that make you feel like you’re not enough are not. 

Hang in there. It doesn’t get easier - like at all. But you get stronger.
I wrote this a few years ago. It helped me process I wrote this a few years ago. It helped me process feelings of never measuring up and feeling lIke someone else would do it better than me. 
I don’t feel like this very often anymore. But I know that there are plenty of mothers out there that do. You aren’t alone. 
The experience of Motherhood is definitely something that humbles even the most confident mothers. 
I wasn’t one to have much confidence once I began but I got there eventually. 
If you’re in this headspace of wondering if you’re enough I’m here to tell you:
1. You are. 
2. This is NORMAL. 
3. This post is for you. 
Read it on my substack now and consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. ❤️ It supports me as I hopefully support you.
I certainly didn’t. @a.mom.uncensored I certainly didn’t. @a.mom.uncensored
I see nothing wrong here. I see nothing wrong here.
Still not there yet. 😑 #ikea #momlifebelike #ik Still not there yet. 😑 #ikea #momlifebelike #ikeahack #jokesfordays
This was my mom’s desk when she was little. At s This was my mom’s desk when she was little. At some point it got passed down to one of her grandchildren. Then it made its way to my house and all three of my kids have used it too. 
My middle decided he was done with it and I had no idea what to do with it. It’s almost an antique at this point and I knew my mom felt sentimental about it. It’s heavy and tiny but it has good bones as they say. 
My mom lives too far away to come get it and the grandkids are all getting too big to want this desk in their rooms. 
I walked around my little house looking for a spot for it. There really isn’t one. 
Could it be an end table? Or swapped out for an entry table? 
But then I walked into my bedroom and saw this bare wall. It’s not ideal. My husband will hate it. But I’ve been thinking that I needed a study spot in my house (in a room with a door that shuts and locks) since I’m in school again at 46 years old. 
I’m hilariously too big for this little desk but also it seems just fine for sitting and writing papers. 
The older I get, the more I realize that this life is short and I’m sure it will make my mom happy to know I’m not only hanging onto this desk a little while longer but it’s going to be used for actual school work again instead of hoarding useless scraps of paper, half filled notebooks and dull crayons no one has touched in years. 
I’m breathing life back into this desk for a few more years and it seems symbolic of my taking something old (me) and using it for something new (becoming a therapist). 
I’m not super sentimental about furniture but I’m sentimental about the people that I love. 
She loves this desk so I guess I’ll love it a little longer on her behalf. ❤️
🚨Vulnerable post alert! My latest on substack: 🚨Vulnerable post alert! My latest on substack: "I feel depressed that it’s back, when I had been handling things so well.
I feel hopeless that although I know it will end, that it will come back again.
I feel embarrassed that I’m sometimes mean to the ones I love most.
I feel like I want to give up.
I feel tired.
I feel overwhelmed by the tiniest thing.
I feel alone. I feel like I’m literally the only one feeling that way in that moment even though I know I’m not deep down. But, anxiety makes me feel like that.
I feel like I just would be better off if I could disappear."
First day back after a week long vacay to the fun First day back after a week long vacay to the fun of carpool and the reality of being a responsible adult is kicking my boot-ay. Can you tell? 😅
Yup. 😂 @themumcrew Yup. 😂 @themumcrew
Best thrift find ever. 😂 Best thrift find ever. 😂
Mental health matters. ❤️ Mental health matters. ❤️
You get the full tour if you’re my friend. You get the full tour if you’re my friend.
Because apparently it belongs to no one. 😑 Because apparently it belongs to no one. 😑
Just like building muscles in our body, to have go Just like building muscles in our body, to have good mental health we need to build muscles in our brains as well. What does that look like? 

For me, it often looks like practicing things that make me uncomfortable. 
Saying no. Setting boundaries. Sitting in discomfort with feelings I don't like. Being OK if someone is mad at me. Learning to validate MYSELF. You get the idea. 
But, really it can be anything that you need to work on but makes you feel REALLY uncomfortable. So much so that it feels like your brain is literally rejecting it. If you want to build that muscle in your brain that is OK with disappointing people in favor of your own mental health, you have to treat it like muscle building in your body. 

1. Do it often enough. 
2. Start small, and work your way up. 
3. Go heavy when you're ready. 

Practicing it often enough is really when you're going to get big results. Soon you'll get used to those negative feelings that come along with telling someone no and knowing they're disappointed. You'll build up endurance to tolerate the feelings and be able to sit with them and let them go. And finally, it will become second nature to you to do all those things you didn't think you could do. Just like strength training for a marathon - consider strength training for your mind. 

One thing I'm working on is telling myself I'm OK. I struggle with seeking validation from others when really I need to be seeking validation from myself. Because MYSELF is good, worthy, and OK 99% of the time. 

What are you practicing right now? I'd love to hear if this is true for you.
Love this so much. @nellie_scales Love this so much. @nellie_scales
If you’ve loved anything I’ve written, conside If you’ve loved anything I’ve written, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber on Substack where you won’t miss any of my posts. Here’s the latest - link in profile. 

#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthawareness #stopthestigmamentalillness
For the moms fighting all the battles no one sees. For the moms fighting all the battles no one sees. My latest on substack. ❤️ Link in profile
Truth right here. Truth right here.
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