Last night, my husband and I made the mistake of leaving the house after dinner. For anyone else out there with small children, especially those (like mine) who are somewhat scheduled, you know for sure that leaving the house after dinner is almost always a mistake. I would say, 99.9% of the time.
Let’s just say that, as usual, things didn’t go according to plan and we found ourselves headed home after their bedtime. In other words, we had just created our own mini version of crazy-town. Here are the stages we suffered through…
Stage 1: Maniacal behavior. This usually happens in the car on the way home. The kids are high energy. Singing, screaming, laughing. Tonight? The game was fake crying. That’s what they decided to play in the car on the way home. They would fake cry until we would say, “What’s wrong!?” in true alarm, and then they would die laughing. Everything is peachy and fun while you’re still out. You’re usually smiling sweetly to yourself in the front seat while doing deep breaths to try to block out the shrill cries of delight in the back. After all, they’re having fun, so what’s wrong with that? But, then you walk through that front door, and with undeniable force, you are faced with…
Stage 2: Denial. They know they are going to be forced to bathe, or get pajamas on or brush teeth against their will, so they just ignore you and pretend like it isn’t happening. The constant reminders to get undressed, or go potty, or take their shoes off go unnoticed. You feel like freaking out, but you manage to remain calm. You finally try physical force. To combat this, they flop, or go limp so that you have to do all the work to get their tiny bodies undressed. Then they’re completely naked and vulnerable. They realize they’ve lost, so they enter….
Stage 3: Meltdown mode. They cry at the tiniest thing. You might say something innocent like, “Will you move over here so I can wash your hair?” and they exclaim something that makes no sense like, “But, I’m too itchy!!!” and they sob through the rest of the bath, or teeth brushing, or story time until you finally reach….
Stage 4: Exhaustion. Both you and them. They want it over, and so do you. Unfortunately, they still need fourth meal, or water, or they forgot to do their homework all weekend, or you leave the room and they need a kleenex, or blanket or or or or or or or……!!! You work hard to cater to their every need to avoid more of stage 3 until they finally enter….
Stage 5: Sleep. They are finally in bed, and you want to cheer, and shout for joy, and possibly watch your favorite TV show, but you realize that the tiny little people sucked every ounce of energy out of you. All you want to do is close your eyes and go to sleep yourself. You resolve to have a social life in 10 years, and vow to never leave the house past 4 pm again. You turn to your husband and remark, “Why do we even bother?” And, he replies sadly, “I have no idea.”
But, the real crazy? That’s when you do it over again next weekend and expect that the next time it might be different.
You nailed it! This is so true
Thanks! 🙂
Sometimes,we can even leave the house without them. Not without fighting, but we can leave.
I was saying “yes” after every point, especially the last one. You totally nailed it!
Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
What a fun post, Meredith. I concur that leaving home past 4pm is asking for trouble. My two tiny ones hit the sack early- we’re talking both in bed by 6:30 pm. A few times we’ve been unable to get babysitters for our evening Bible study group and paid a big price the next day with a fussy toddler. Love your blog design- quirky and fun. Glad I found you tonight!
Me too!! Thanks for stopping by! Hope you’ll come again. 🙂 Fun and quirky is exactly what I was going for!
We go through these stages on a normal night! Or at least up to stage 3 until they relent. I avoid staying out past bedtimes too to the chagrin of family and friends who think I am just too rigid, I’m just all about self-preservation 😉
Exactly!!! That’s how I feel too. That people think I’m too rigid, but we have to do it to not go crazy!
This is exactly what happened to us last weekend. And yet, I never learn!
Well, it’s hard to commit to being a recluse and never leaving the house. I never learn either! 🙂
over-tired, maniacal behavior is a given when out past bedtime!
Absolutely! 🙂
Haha, I love that you categorized these stages. Next time we’re experiencing this maybe I’ll call out to my husband “WAtch out! We’re entering Stage Three!!”
Yes! Maybe I will too! 🙂
Yes! True! However, my kids are night owls. It’ll be 11 at night and they’ll still be playing in their rooms. It drives me insane. I’m all, “How can you not be tired? I’m tired!”
Ugh. My kids don’t do that…yet. But, I can only imagine the frustration! 🙂
Oh I so agree – the number of times I have done this and then so regretted it…but then, guess what you do it again, you think it will be different, but it never, never is! 😉 Thanks for linking up to the Parenting Pin it Party over at KiddyCharts. Cheers. xx
Thanks for stopping by!! 🙂
We did this last night. 2yo up until 11. My wife and I needed to catch up on homeland, so we put her in front of elmo for an hour. At least we didn’t give her benadryl.
Yes! At least you didn’t do that. I would die if my kids stayed up until 11. If they are up past 8pm, I start to twitch uncontrollably. 😉
LOL this is my family…exactly! (You’re not spying on us are you?) We never learn and keep trying occasionally. This made me giggle so much though, to know we are not alone, sorry. I am featuring this as my favourite in next Mondays Pin It Party so do pop by an drab your shiny badge if you wish 🙂
Thanks for featuring it!! I’ve been enjoying the Monday Pin it Party!! Such a fun idea! 🙂
Almost 9 years in and my husband still doesn’t listen to the ‘routine.’ Stopping by from the Creative Kids Pinterest Party!
Thanks for stopping by! My husband has learned that the routine is important..but he is the king of breaking it too!! 🙂
It’s like you were describing my sons. NO. REALLY.
WTF is it with boys? I don’t even go upstairs anymore cuz it makes me so mad! I SO get you on this. Why WHY dump toy bins on the floor? I would love to know this.
great post, Meredith. 🙂
Thanks Beth!! Sorry you understand so well. 🙂