Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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New house

Today, We Bought A House

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Moving is a moment that completely turns your life upside down. There is so much in the unknown. You look at a house once, maybe twice, make an offer and move in. It’s kind of crazy when you think about it. You don’t really know much about the neighbors, the new people you will meet, whether or not the A/C will go out the minute you move in. It’s a risk. Yet, millions of people buy houses all the time.

I said to my husband, “It kind of scares me how smoothly everything fell into place with this house. Like, why are we supposed to be there? What’s going to happen?” Always the optimist, he responded, “Probably good things” or something like that.

I believe there is a reason for everything. The good and the bad. And, for some reason, we are supposed to move to this house.

You see, I saw this house last year. Yep, the exact same one we are moving into. It was for sale by owner almost exactly a year ago. I showed JD the pictures online. We weren’t in a place to buy a house a year ago, so we let it slip through our fingers. I felt a little sad. I had even talked to the owner a little bit about it on the phone. But, things happen. We stayed put. We rented for another year.

Recently, we started looking again. I was more eager than my husband. Nothing was quite working. The houses I looked at, he could always find something that didn’t work. Price, size, location, etc. I felt like it was hopeless. I think even our realtor had given up on us a little bit. Yet, I would get on the computer and scan the same neighborhoods again just hoping that a miracle would pop up. We wanted a house with 3 bedrooms on the main level which is hard to find in the city limits. Our realtor told us it was practically impossible. One day, something told me to do a new search in an area I had been keeping an eye on. And, lo and behold. Guess what popped up? That house from a year ago. It was listed just a few hours before I got onto the computer. And, it was priced just right.

I called my agent and insisted we go look at it that night.

Things are going fast around here. The market is picking up. It’s crazy. If you don’t act fast, you miss out. So, we were the first people to see it. We made an offer immediately. And waited. We had to wait 24 hours for them to respond. And that meant 24 hours of many other people walking through it too (about 15 in one day). To make a long 24 hours short, there was one more offer the next day. Turns out, it was higher than ours by a few thousand dollars (we didn’t know that). But, they chose our offer (hallelujah for good credit scores).

We flew through the inspection and everything was just perfect. It almost seems too good to be true. Which of course, makes the worrier in me a little nervous.

But, alas, we closed today, and we are now officially home owners again.

Yet, there is a tug in my heart for the house we are leaving. Today, my landlord is showing it to  a new renter. I can’t imagine another person living here. This seems like my house even though it was never really mine. My heart aches for all the happy memories that we have in this house. Like, the birth of my last child. And, the birthdays we’ve celebrated. This house is the only home the boys have ever really known. Kyle was only about 18 months old when we moved in. He is now rapidly approaching 5.

I know the idiosyncrasies of this house like the back of my hand. It feels like home. The whir of the dishwasher is familiar. The squeak of the 100 year old  hardwoods is annoying, but endearing. The smudges on the walls belong to tiny people that have lived happy moments in every room. The tree in the backyard is a source of both shade and play. The stained glass window on the front door is one of my favorite features. It felt meant to be when we moved in 3 years ago and it perfectly matched my furniture. There is just too much to remember in every corner. This house is my home. How can I possibly leave?

But, the future is bright with possibility. We will make new friends. Meet new neighbors. Go to new schools. Create new memories. Hang our old favorite pictures on different walls, but the pictures will at least be familiar. In time, I will not wake up in the middle of the night at an unfamiliar noise that is actually just the unfamiliar house I don’t quite love just yet settling in for the night. I will know the people in my new neighborhood as good as I know my current neighbors. We will find new parks, and new memories around every corner.

The best part? The people, and things I love most are coming with me. And, that is what really makes a home anyway.  I don’t know why we are meant to be in this new house just yet. But, I look forward to finding that out. Each and every day.

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The view of the back of the house

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I think there is some serious yard work in my future.


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Comments

  1. muggleinconverse says

    June 20, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    It’s gorgeous! Congratulations! I hope everything continues to go well.

    Reply
  2. Rayna Drago says

    June 20, 2013 at 5:51 pm

    Congrats!! Back of the house looks beautiful! Can’t wait to see the front and inside!!!

    Reply
  3. bensbitterblog says

    June 20, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    So exciting! New ward right? Maintain a low profile so you don’t become relief society pres again!

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      June 20, 2013 at 6:33 pm

      For real! I’m going to say my last bishop didn’t let me have a calling if they ask.

      Reply
      • bensbitterblog says

        June 20, 2013 at 11:13 pm

        Good luck staying low key! And congrats on your new house!

        Reply
  4. cookie1986 says

    June 20, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    It looks beautiful! And an awesome outdoor space too!

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      June 21, 2013 at 2:41 pm

      Yes, the yard is a little intimidating to me, but hopefully I won’t kill it all. But, I might.

      Reply
  5. Tracy@CrazyAsNormal says

    June 21, 2013 at 8:40 am

    It is gorgeous! This post made my heart so happy. 🙂 You have dealt with so much lately – you guys totally deserved this.

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      June 21, 2013 at 2:41 pm

      Aww. Thanks! 🙂

      Reply
  6. TraceyLynnTobin says

    June 21, 2013 at 10:58 am

    I am extremely jealous of you right now. That house looks amazing. Congrats on a truly excellent purchase!

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      June 21, 2013 at 2:41 pm

      Thank you. 🙂 We are excited.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. My New Enemy | Faking Picture Perfect says:
    June 27, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    […] house on Saturday, and then take a week to clean, move, and get settled before we actually slept in the new house. But, something kicked our butts into gear so much so that I really shouldn’t even be writing […]

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

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Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
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