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By Meredith Ethington

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New house

Today, We Bought A House

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Moving is a moment that completely turns your life upside down. There is so much in the unknown. You look at a house once, maybe twice, make an offer and move in. It’s kind of crazy when you think about it. You don’t really know much about the neighbors, the new people you will meet, whether or not the A/C will go out the minute you move in. It’s a risk. Yet, millions of people buy houses all the time.

I said to my husband, “It kind of scares me how smoothly everything fell into place with this house. Like, why are we supposed to be there? What’s going to happen?” Always the optimist, he responded, “Probably good things” or something like that.

I believe there is a reason for everything. The good and the bad. And, for some reason, we are supposed to move to this house.

You see, I saw this house last year. Yep, the exact same one we are moving into. It was for sale by owner almost exactly a year ago. I showed JD the pictures online. We weren’t in a place to buy a house a year ago, so we let it slip through our fingers. I felt a little sad. I had even talked to the owner a little bit about it on the phone. But, things happen. We stayed put. We rented for another year.

Recently, we started looking again. I was more eager than my husband. Nothing was quite working. The houses I looked at, he could always find something that didn’t work. Price, size, location, etc. I felt like it was hopeless. I think even our realtor had given up on us a little bit. Yet, I would get on the computer and scan the same neighborhoods again just hoping that a miracle would pop up. We wanted a house with 3 bedrooms on the main level which is hard to find in the city limits. Our realtor told us it was practically impossible. One day, something told me to do a new search in an area I had been keeping an eye on. And, lo and behold. Guess what popped up? That house from a year ago. It was listed just a few hours before I got onto the computer. And, it was priced just right.

I called my agent and insisted we go look at it that night.

Things are going fast around here. The market is picking up. It’s crazy. If you don’t act fast, you miss out. So, we were the first people to see it. We made an offer immediately. And waited. We had to wait 24 hours for them to respond. And that meant 24 hours of many other people walking through it too (about 15 in one day). To make a long 24 hours short, there was one more offer the next day. Turns out, it was higher than ours by a few thousand dollars (we didn’t know that). But, they chose our offer (hallelujah for good credit scores).

We flew through the inspection and everything was just perfect. It almost seems too good to be true. Which of course, makes the worrier in me a little nervous.

But, alas, we closed today, and we are now officially home owners again.

Yet, there is a tug in my heart for the house we are leaving. Today, my landlord is showing it to  a new renter. I can’t imagine another person living here. This seems like my house even though it was never really mine. My heart aches for all the happy memories that we have in this house. Like, the birth of my last child. And, the birthdays we’ve celebrated. This house is the only home the boys have ever really known. Kyle was only about 18 months old when we moved in. He is now rapidly approaching 5.

I know the idiosyncrasies of this house like the back of my hand. It feels like home. The whir of the dishwasher is familiar. The squeak of the 100 year old  hardwoods is annoying, but endearing. The smudges on the walls belong to tiny people that have lived happy moments in every room. The tree in the backyard is a source of both shade and play. The stained glass window on the front door is one of my favorite features. It felt meant to be when we moved in 3 years ago and it perfectly matched my furniture. There is just too much to remember in every corner. This house is my home. How can I possibly leave?

But, the future is bright with possibility. We will make new friends. Meet new neighbors. Go to new schools. Create new memories. Hang our old favorite pictures on different walls, but the pictures will at least be familiar. In time, I will not wake up in the middle of the night at an unfamiliar noise that is actually just the unfamiliar house I don’t quite love just yet settling in for the night. I will know the people in my new neighborhood as good as I know my current neighbors. We will find new parks, and new memories around every corner.

The best part? The people, and things I love most are coming with me. And, that is what really makes a home anyway.  I don’t know why we are meant to be in this new house just yet. But, I look forward to finding that out. Each and every day.

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The view of the back of the house

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I think there is some serious yard work in my future.


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Comments

  1. muggleinconverse says

    June 20, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    It’s gorgeous! Congratulations! I hope everything continues to go well.

    Reply
  2. Rayna Drago says

    June 20, 2013 at 5:51 pm

    Congrats!! Back of the house looks beautiful! Can’t wait to see the front and inside!!!

    Reply
  3. bensbitterblog says

    June 20, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    So exciting! New ward right? Maintain a low profile so you don’t become relief society pres again!

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      June 20, 2013 at 6:33 pm

      For real! I’m going to say my last bishop didn’t let me have a calling if they ask.

      Reply
      • bensbitterblog says

        June 20, 2013 at 11:13 pm

        Good luck staying low key! And congrats on your new house!

        Reply
  4. cookie1986 says

    June 20, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    It looks beautiful! And an awesome outdoor space too!

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      June 21, 2013 at 2:41 pm

      Yes, the yard is a little intimidating to me, but hopefully I won’t kill it all. But, I might.

      Reply
  5. Tracy@CrazyAsNormal says

    June 21, 2013 at 8:40 am

    It is gorgeous! This post made my heart so happy. 🙂 You have dealt with so much lately – you guys totally deserved this.

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      June 21, 2013 at 2:41 pm

      Aww. Thanks! 🙂

      Reply
  6. TraceyLynnTobin says

    June 21, 2013 at 10:58 am

    I am extremely jealous of you right now. That house looks amazing. Congrats on a truly excellent purchase!

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      June 21, 2013 at 2:41 pm

      Thank you. 🙂 We are excited.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. My New Enemy | Faking Picture Perfect says:
    June 27, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    […] house on Saturday, and then take a week to clean, move, and get settled before we actually slept in the new house. But, something kicked our butts into gear so much so that I really shouldn’t even be writing […]

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
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Meredith Ethington
Definitely true for me. ❤️ Definitely true for me. ❤️
"I don’t believe a growth mindset is bad all the "I don’t believe a growth mindset is bad all the time, or even most of the time for that matter. I think you can have a growth mindset and not gaslight yourself into always looking on the bright side and saying everything terrible that happens in life is an opportunity for growth.

There has to be a middle ground."

Read my latest. Link in profile.
I agree. 😂 @chasemit I agree. 😂 @chasemit
"I wonder sometimes if I'm two different mothers t "I wonder sometimes if I'm two different mothers to them like I am to myself. 
If I'm being honest - sometimes I feel like I'm 15 different mothers.

I'm patient, loving, and kind. I'm creative and dull.

I'm happy and dancing in the kitchen one minute, and begging for a nap and to be left alone the next minute. 

Sometimes, I wonder if they'll remember the tears I had for no reason at all. Sitting on the couch feeling empty and sad. They come and give me hugs unsolicited as I cry. I am depressed and overwhelmed. I wonder if they will remember that version of me?"

I hope you'll read my latest. ❤️
Here's what I know - I want my kids to learn this Here's what I know - I want my kids to learn this lesson too. 
Life is hard and we often make so many big decisions based on EMOTIONS. Instead we need to get curious about the why behind that emotion. Are we scared, sad, anxious, angry? Whatever it is - feeling and emotions are not "bad" or "good." In fact we control very little about them! 
So if we can learn to SLOW down when we feel them and get curious that's the first step to figuring out the why behind them. Then we move forward and act  AFTER we've felt. 
It's a lesson I'm still learning and hope my kids will learn a lot faster then me. 

If you like convos like these join me over on substack. 🙏

#emotionalintelligence #mentalhealthawareness #momlife #feelings #parentinglikewhoa
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Let's talk friendship 👇👇👇 "In 2018, Busin Let's talk friendship 👇👇👇
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Because close relationships have bigger rewards than casual ones."

Learn all about why making friends is important, why we all want them, and how it can actually lower our cortisol. Check out my latest on S U B S T A C K. :)
Here are three things everyone needs to know about Here are three things everyone needs to know about kindness that are important to your mental health. 

1. Kindness does not mean you don't have boundaries. So often we do things for the sake of being kind even when we don't want to. Kindness does not equal saying yes all the time. Learning to say no is like a muscle you need to exercise to get better at it. Saying no doesn't automatically mean you are unkind. 

2. Kindness doesn't look like self betrayal. Ever. If you do something that you don't want to do because you're afraid of exercising that saying no muscle - you'll end up struggling with your own mental health. Listen to your gut and trust when kindness feels meaningful to you and when it feels like an obligation. 

3. Kindness to yourself is just as important as any external kindness you are showing to the world. In fact - I would argue that it's the most important way to have balance and good mental health. 

"Be kind" is a mantra these days and it's a good one. But know what kindness is. It's when you're moved to do something for someone else but that doesn't mean you abandon yourself in the process. 

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Ooof. This hit hard. Ooof. This hit hard.
"We are parenting in an age full of information th "We are parenting in an age full of information thrown at us on how to be the best parent.
We’re constantly told to do more with our kids. Educate faster and earlier. Get them in sports by three or they won’t make the team when they get to high school.

How could we possibly accomplish all that and NOT helicopter? Do preschoolers know how to research the best preschools and sign up for T-ball on their own all while making a free range chicken dinner (that you don’t heat up in a plastic container, btw)?

And, what about the worries we have of keeping them safe from school shootings, pornography, social media, and too much screen time?

I’m told not to take my child his homework when he forgets it, but I’m also told to make sure he has enough AP classes and good grades to get into a good college. 

I’m told not to let them roam freely outside because the world is a scary place and for sure someone could kidnap them, but I’m also told that kids today need more fresh air.

So, when exactly am I supposed to get housework done and my job done, too if I have to sit outside watching my kids ride their bikes up and down the sidewalk?

The demands on mothers today are confusing to say the least. We get mixed messages constantly.

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I don’t want to be a helicopter parent, but I also don’t know how NOT to be and get everything done that parents today are expected to do." 

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I’m allll about this power move at this stage of I’m allll about this power move at this stage of my life. People are having their own experience independent of me and are going to have their own assumptions, feelings, and actions about me. That’s just life. My advice? Just keep doing your thing and the people that know the real you and get to be in your safe space are the lucky ones. 
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"My pattern of self-betrayal has most often looked "My pattern of self-betrayal has most often looked like ignoring my intuition or quieting my own voice.
For you, it might look like “being nice” even when you’re being walked all over. Even when you’re mad at yourself afterward. For someone else, it might look like conforming. This happens in situations like the time one of my kids participated in something she told me ahead of time she didn’t want to do and then she fell apart afterward.

What self-betrayal looks like can be different for everyone.

Sometimes it’s a conscious thing we do and other times it might be a subtle habit we do to keep others around us happier than we are ourselves because of a trauma response.

It could look like being the people pleaser, or the peacemaker because that’s the role we had to play in a volatile household growing up.

The cost of self-betrayal is high though.
The cost of self-betrayal is that we no longer belong to ourselves. And if we first don’t belong to ourselves, we certainly can’t truly belong anywhere else."

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. What self-betrayal means. I hope you'll read it. New post in my substack.
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Swipe right to see what I’ve been working on and how you can start belonging to yourself again. 
Which one resonates? Which one do you struggle with?
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