Today was one of those days, where I declared that everyone was going to bed an hour early. You know the days where kids are straight up crazy, and you look like something from the Walking Dead? You know what I’m talking about. And, if not? Tell me, what are you taking?
So, whether you put your kids to bed at 7 pm or 5 pm, my guess is that you probably earned it at some point in the day, to bump up that bedtime, so you can get a little peace and freaking quiet.
Here are my top 20 Reasons you (and I) can justify putting our kids to bed at least an hour earlier than normal.
1. You’re sick of your own voice. Yet, you question if it is actually audible to small children.
2. You’ve given so many empty threats, even you don’t believe them anymore.
3. You “escape” to do something you hate as soon as your husband walks in the door. Like, yard work. Or laundry. Suddenly, that sounds SUPER nice, so you lie and tell your husband it’s super urgent that you sweep the cobwebs from the corners of the front porch.
4. You let your kids play with purple Kinetic sand. And it’s everywhere.
5. You look at your cat and tell her to get a job. Because she’s just staring at you all. the. time.
6. You declare sugar to be of the devil for your children and vow tomorrow they will only eat celery and hummus all day.
7. You’ve already eaten your weight in chocolate by lunch time. Because, you need sugar. Lots of it.
8. At 4 pm, you want to cry when you look at your own bed, and know that you would almost kill to get in it. That very second.
9. You consider boarding school for the three year old as an actual option that must exist somewhere in the world. So you start to google and look it up.
10. You’ve cleaned bodily fluids from somewhere they don’t belong at some point in the day. Your clothing. A wall. In the closet. You get the idea.
11. Your husband is pleading at you with those eyes that scream “help!” and you stare back with your own eyes that say, “You did this.”
12. You’ve stepped on legos at some point in the day.
13. You had to go into a play land at a fast food restaurant that day.
14. You’ve heard so many shrill screams during the day that even when they are quietly watching TV, you’d swear that you can still hear them screaming.
15. All three kids managed to do synchronized fake crying, and you considered starting a choir.
16. The words, “Mom! He’s touching me!” make you spontaneously laugh, and then run into a room, hide in your closet, and rock yourself back and forth to self-soothe.
17. You’re folding your laundry in front of an episode of Paw Patrol long after your kids have moved on to something else.
18. You cringe at the word, “mommy” when you hear it.
19. You consider getting in your car and driving anywhere. Even a sketchy, abandoned parking lot sounds nice. Because…silence.
20. You’ve wiped bums, brushed teeth, helped with homework, cleaned the kitchen up what must be at least 15 times, read stories, and think that you must have used more patience than the Dali Lama that day, and frankly, you just deserve it.
But, the thing is, they’ll be asleep, and you’ll sneak in to cover them with their blanket or turn out the light, or pry the book from their hands, and your heart will suddenly burst and a voice will whisper, “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”
But, don’t feel guilty, mama as you gaze into their deceptively angelic looking faces while they sleep.
You earned it, my friend. Trust me.
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It is only 10 am here in NY, but you have inspired me for later tonight, as my kids are off all week for February break, we have more snow and I have already exceeded my limit of hearing “Mommy” today. So, I think I may very well deserve an early bedtime for my gang later, too. Thanks 🙂
Well, I love inspiring moms to put their kids to bed earlier to save their sanity. 🙂
#13. That’s really all you had to say. 😉 Just kidding. These are great!
I can’t relate to these yet, with a 1 year old, but I can say that I’m totally exhausted by the end of the day!!
Yes!! My kids are alit older, but I still earn early bedtimes once in a while. Love this!
I have so been there… and am sure I will be there again soon! Love it!
This was really funny Meredith! I could totally relate as I read each number. I was so guilty, especially on this part “You “escape” to do something you hate as soon as your husband walks in the door. Like, yard work. Or laundry. Suddenly, that sounds SUPER nice, so you lie and tell your husband it’s super urgent that you sweep the cobwebs from the corners of the front porch.” Loved the read. This is such a good summary of my everyday.
Thanks Pria! Isn’t it funny how we are all kind of living the same little life? 🙂
Every time I read one of your posts I think, “Why do I not hang out with this person? She knows my thoughts!” and then I remember, WAIT?! I AM going to hang out with her THIS WEEKEND!! WHAAAT!?!
I’m so excited. Let’s be friends for real. And also let’s not bring our kids. Let the dads deal with all that business for a bit.
See you soon!
Brittany
Yay! Can’t wait to hang out for two days. It will be so fun!
Oh, I can SOO relate! Sometimes I want to wipe the word ‘mom’ from my kids memory! I love motherhood, but I also LOVE my quiet time! thanks for letting me take a sneak peak into your family life and for writing from the heart.
Good thing we have blogging conferences to help us miss them. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Yes! 12 & 19! LOL
My kids are like bats. They grow wide awake when it’s already bedtime! Some days I don’t bother with naps anymore because it makes them super hyper in the evening. 🙁
I agree. My 3yo is giving up naps, and I’ve just given up trying completely because he goes to bed so much easier at night if I don’t!
LOVE IT!!! Oh, how many times I have experienced every one of these reasons!!!
I was laughing at all of these, especially point 8! Some days are really so bad, you just want to give up.
YES! Glad I’m not the only one that feels this way.
I LOVE this. It’s hilarious. Perfect. And completely true. All of it.
Thanks Andrea!