I’ve never thought of myself as “brave” in the true sense of the word. I never really thought of myself as a brave mom either. I’m not really a risk-taker, and aside from roller coasters, I don’t do any dare-devilish things. Skiing even seems out of the question for me.
But, as a young 20 something, I did something very brave for me.
I packed up 2 suitcases, and flew across the country to another state that I had only been to once on a family vacation when I was 15, and started a life. I didn’t really know anyone there, and relied on friends of friends to pick me up from the airport and drive me to a place to sleep.
I remember being terrified. But, at the same time, I had this incredible sense that all would be OK if I just did what I knew I was supposed to be doing.
Sure, I didn’t know who I would live with, where I would work, or how I would get to campus each day for college, but I just had this, “I’ll figure it out” attitude.
I got a job, and put myself through school, and even got a degree at the end of it. Looking back now, everything fell into place, and it was obvious that I did the right thing. Even though it terrified me.
But, I look back at my 20-something self, and realize, I was very, very brave.
And, then I became a Mom. And, suddenly, the world became terrifying again. My anxiety started to increase almost the instant I became pregnant, and hasn’t left me since. But, I’m learning to be brave again. Because bravery isn’t just about doing a dare-devilish task.
Being brave can mean lots of things.
But, it got me thinking, what does being a brave mom mean?
I could easily look at my life and think, here I am. Taking care of others all day long. My 20-something self is long gone, and I am just living life daily trying to keep my head above water. But, really, the opportunity to be brave is still there for me. It just looks different now.
It looks like standing up at a PTA meeting to take down an old president because everyone in the school is begging YOU for change. Or maybe it just means standing up at a PTA meeting and disagreeing with a policy, rule, or suggesting a new one.
It looks like a Mom who has screwed up again, but isn’t afraid to say she is sorry to her children, and admit that she made a mistake.
It looks like cleaning up puke in the middle of the night even though you wish you could run away screaming.
It looks like being in the same room as someone that you know has said ugly things about you, and being the better person.
It looks like asking for help.
It looks like letting people come into your house for the first time when it’s not clean, and not worrying.
Being a brave mom looks like having another baby when you’re already worried you’re screwing up the first one.
It looks like going against a doctor’s advice because you know what’s best for your child.
It looks like not being afraid to be yourself when everyone around you is copying each other.
It looks like sharing your story, your struggles, and your heartache with others even though you feel vulnerable.
It looks like admitting that your life isn’t perfect all the time. And, not being ashamed.
It looks like not being afraid to make the first move because you desperately want a friend.
It looks like trying every day to be a little better than you were the day before. And, not feeling guilty about your mistakes.
It looks like sticking to your guns even though you know other parents are judging you.
It looks like a Mom that you might see at the grocery store in frumpy yoga pants getting the last ingredient for her recipe that night, because she forgot it yesterday.
You just never know the hardships, trials, struggles and pain that goes on inside another person. Even someone that is “just” a stay at home Mom. Life may look peachy from the outside looking in, but we are all fighting hard battles. And, we can still be brave.
What do you do that is brave? Tell me! I want to know.
You got me with the one where you said “It looks like not being afraid to make the first move because you desperately want a friend.” Beautiful post from beginning to end, Meredith. Motherhood has taken more bravery than I imagined, very true!
Thanks Beth! Yes, making friends is one of the hardest things to do!! Especially when it is up to you to make the first move.
This is beautiful! Bravery comes in many forms! I can’t wait to experience all the worry and BRAVERY of motherhood! 🙂
Thanks! 🙂
I love this. It is so hard to remember that looks can be deceiving. For me being brave means exiting the work force to be home and deciding to make it work although there is no clear path. Like your younger self we have the sense that tjis road will work out we just don’t know for sure how.
That IS a brave choice!! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
This was fantastic. We all need this type of encouragement and to remember that even if we think our lives are mundane, we commit small acts of bravery every day. A small incident happened to me today that could have made me spiral out into a tizzy, but I was brave to just ignore it and move on. Thank you for reminding me that that was no small thing.
Honestly, it’s usually the small things that DO make me crazy. And, when I think how no one saw my control, or patience, it can be discouraging. I wrote a post about that…It’s called Superwoman. 🙂
This is really beautiful including your picture, you’re glowing! You named so many acts of bravery but the one that stuck out to me was the one about standing up at a PTA meeting with a complaint, disagreement or suggestion. I attended my first PTA meeting this week as a committee head and it was really great to be there. But, I would definitely be intimidated to have to make a stand at one, I would do it but palms would likely be sweaty and voice shaky.
I meant, you mentioned so many awesome acts of bravery, I loved them all!
Thank you! And, thanks for saying I was glowing too!! 🙂
haha! I know!! My sister kind of had to stand up and nominate herself as the president. She was sooo nervous!! I think someone else technically nominated her, but still, she knew it was coming!
That is intimidating and a big job too!
Beautiful post. I can think of so many wonderful Moms I know, including my own, that need to hear this and can totally relate. Makes me think of the Nelson Mandella quote- “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it”
I’m not a mom but I wonder what ways I am brave?
Sounds like a blog post is coming from YOU about bravery! 🙂
And thank you for the kind words, too. 🙂
Yes, yes, yes. I relate to so much of this. We DO have a lot in common! Beautiful post!
Thanks!! 🙂
Great post, Meredith! And you’re not ‘just’ a stay-at-home mom. You’re a mom. And that’s a tough job. I am not kidding you when I say I have it easier than when I was staying at home with the kids. So give yourself more credit to your job… 😉
Oh, I put that in quotes for a reason. I don’t believe the “just” part. Everyone else says that, but NOT me!!! 🙂
Admitting your mistakes to your kids is SUCH a big one. It can be so hard to do, but it’s important. It teaches them so much about honesty and owning your failures. Well, that and letting people see your messy house 🙂 That one is really hard, too. Great post!
This is such a great post. I agree– you DO have to be brave to keep on keepin’ on as a mother every single minute of every single day. Before having kids, I had no idea how brave I was going to need to be.
Thanks Julia! 🙂
I found you through momaste. I love this post! For me, there’s always an underbelly of fear when it comes to bravery, but I guess what makes it brave- the fact that you swallow the fear and do the thing that scares you anyway.
Some of the brave things I have learned to do are ask for help, say no, and love myself even though I don’t fit the mold of what society tells me I should look like. I trust, I love, more intensely than are comfortable because I’m letting my guard down.
Good one, I’m going to keep thinking about this!
Thanks Hannah! It means the world to me that this resonated with you. If you’d like to guest post for me about this subject, I’ve started a Saturday series…I’m scheduling into June, so there would be plenty of time. Here’s the link to what I’m looking for: https://perfectionpending.net/2014/02/01/be-brave-and-guest-blog-for-me/
This is SUCH a beautiful post, and so so true. You were really brave to move all alone so young and it really does seem like it was the best choice for you. Bravery is completely redefined when we become parents. Going against doctors’ advice, frumpy pants at the grocery, and my favorite – that we really never know what somebody else’s life is like on the inside. Adore.
Thanks Kristi!
Such a great post! We are all brave i our own ways, I think. Often, though, we don’t see it in ourselves.
So true. Thanks Lisa!
LOVE LOVE LOVE this Meredith!!! This is exactly what bravery LOOKS LIKE!!!!
Thanks Chris! 🙂