Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

  • My Books
    • The Mother Load
    • Mom Life: Perfection Pending – The Book
    • Free eBook: Sometimes Motherhood Sucks
    • How To Grow Your FB Following
  • Motherhood
    • Inspiration
    • Encouragement
    • Childhood
    • Humor
    • Parenting Memes
    • Friendship
    • Marriage
  • Kid Ideas
    • Recipes
    • Practical Tips
    • Babies & Toddlers
    • teens and tweens
    • The Elementary School Years
  • Mental Health
    • Mental Health
    • Anxiety
  • About
    • Favorite Posts
    • My Portfolio
    • Privacy & Disclosures

Encouragement In the Motherhood Inspiration Mom Life Motherhood Parenting

I Wonder What Mother They Will Remember

1 shares
  • Share
  • Tweet

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what mother my kids will remember. Will they remember the one that worked, and had to ignore them sometimes, or will they remember the mom that poured over scrapbooks and baby books, and instagram posts documenting every moment of their little lives. 

Will they remember the mom that cried at school drop off? Or will they just remember the mom that hurried them out the door seemingly not caring if they had a meltdown? 

I wonder sometimes if I’m two different mothers to them like I am to myself. 

If I’m being honest – sometimes I feel like I’m 15 different mothers. I’m patient, loving, and kind. I’m creative and dull. I’m happy and dancing in the kitchen one minute, and begging for a nap and to be left alone the next minute. 

Sometimes, I wonder if they’ll remember the tears I had for no reason at all. Sitting on the couch feeling empty and sad. They come and give me hugs unsolicited as I cry. I am depressed and overwhelmed. I wonder if they will remember that version of me? 

I wonder if they’ll remember the mom that yelled over the permanent marker on the brand new toddler bedspread, or the one that quietly cleaned up the broken glass first thing in the morning when they shattered a cereal bowl on the kitchen floor before the sun was even up. Will they remember when I said, “It’s OK. Don’t cry. It’s just a bowl.”

Or will they remember the rage I sometimes felt over the little things due to my overwhelming anxiety? 

I think when we first become mothers we have this image of the perfect mother, or at least an ideal one in our heads. 

But, then we realize that we aren’t one dimensional. We’re still human. We cry, yell, get frustrated and sleepy (oh we get so sleepy) while we’re raising these other tiny humans that are also trying to navigate their own emotions. We thought naively that maybe we would never feel annoyed at our kids, or mad about the messes. 

We would bake cookies in the kitchen and never once be mad about the flour all over the floor. 

i-wonder-what-mother-they-will-remember

We envisioned a woman that fed them all organic, and never raised her voice. A mother that was using positive parenting techniques all the time, and never got bugged by the little stuff. 

I guess we were hoping that somehow we would become robotic when we started our motherhood journey. Never quick to anger, temper always tempered, and chill. Oh, how I was going to be so chill about it all. 

But, I’ve realized a very important truth now and that’s that I’m human, and it’s OK to show that to my kids. 

I want them to see my cry, yell, stand up for injustice, sleep, be happy, dance, and be sad. I want them to see me working through my own emotions so that they will know that they can work through theirs. 

But, if I’m being honest, the part that bothers me, is that I know that some of those negative memories will stick. That’s why we have therapy I guess. 

I can torture myself with the thoughts of which memories they will have of me when I’m gone. 

Will they remember the times we played games and went hiking and snuggled on the couch? Or will they remember the mom that traveled and sometimes put work first, and doled out chores on a Saturday morning? 

In a perfect world, I want them to remember both (or all 15) types of moms that I am. Because that’s what makes me complex and human, after all. 

Being one dimensional has never been that interesting in the history of forever. But, being emotionally honest is. 

So, I guess my hope is that they’ll remember as much of all of me as they can. 

I hope they’ll remember the good times, but also the sad ones. Because the sad ones mad the happy ones so much sweeter. 

If they remember the depression and anxiety that plagued me, I hope they’ll also remember how I fought through that daily.  For them. 

It’s easy to plague ourselves throughout parenting with mom guilt (and dad guilt.) 

But, instead, I hope that they remember the mom that was authentic. That stuck to her core values and lived a full, albeit sometimes highly emotional life. I hope they’ll remember my big heart that sometimes took things too seriously, and took on the emotions of everyone around me. 

I hope they’ll remember the home we made together in a little house, on a quiet street, where laughter happened and crying too. 

Because that life is a full one where we live, breathe, and grow together. Feeling all the emotions that this one beautiful life has to offer. 


1 Comment

« 10 Quick And Easy Lunch Ideas For Picky Toddlers
15 Recipes For A Delicious Gluten-Free Thanksgiving »

Comments

  1. Katie Goodnough says

    February 7, 2023 at 4:10 pm

    This. All of this. I have often plagued myself with these questions and I’m growing to accept all the emotions and teach them they’re a part of life too.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
Follow on Instagram

You might also like

The Greatest Gift Is To Watch Your Child Leave You

Mom holding baby in nursery and yawning

When Does Parenting Get Less Exhausting? Newsflash – Never.

Dad holding tired girl after trick or treating during Halloween in the 80's

Halloween in The 80’s Was the Best Ever

mom forcing a smile with fingers and blue background

Stop Complaining About Motherhood. Here Are 21 Reasons You Shouldn’t

Here’s How to Deal With Hating Being a Parent

Copyright © 2025 · Perfection Pending · Designed by Krizzy Designs

Copyright © 2025 · Divine Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

1 shares