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By Meredith Ethington

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Anxiety Mental Health Motherhood

If You’re An Angry Mom Right Now – It’s Probably Anxiety. And You Aren’t Alone.

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I’ve heard a lot friends lamenting about being depressed right now because of the pandemic. Being cooped up in our houses for so long feels frustrating. Home schooling was a joke. We are entering summer and many of us still have lockdown guidelines leaving us feeling trapped. 

To be honest – the world in general is a lot right now. 

And with all the pandemic stuff aside, we have social justice issues, an upcoming election, murder hornets, and probably alien invasions next if 2020 stays going in the direction it has been. 

You might see people talking about feeling sad, or lonely, or depressed, or anxious. 

But, what about those of us who are just – angry?

I have written time and time again about how my anxiety manifests as anger.

Every time I do – I get messages from moms in my inbox. 

Things like, “It’s so good to know I’m not alone.” 

“I had no idea others felt this way, too.” 

“I never realized that my anxiety could look like anger.” 

I have a feeling that a lot of us are angry right now. And it’s probably not an easy pill to swallow to admit that. 

Feeling lonely and depressed right now seems more socially acceptable. If you are binge-eating cookies and baking all day, there’s a Covid19 Meme for that. 

But, if you’re angry? And you’re possibly taking that out on your family? Well, that’s not so socially acceptable to admit. 

I have admitted before that I’m a yeller. And, I’m still a good mom. But, I’ll let you in on a secret – if you’re angry right now, you’re also a good mom. 

There’s a lot to be angry about right now. Now, let’s replace that word angry with anxious. There’s a lot to be anxious about right now. Oooh Boy. Isn’t that the truth. 

Pandemics.

Homeschooling. 

Husbands working from home. 

Wives working from home. 

Being cooped up 24/7 with our precious angels. 

Big emotions from kids that don’t get what’s going on. 

Big emotions from us. 

Social justice issues. 

Social media telling us we are all doing something wrong. 

Do I need to go on? 

Anxiety and anger are often not talked about like I wish they would be.

Mostly because it’s important for women to recognize the signs when they feel like an angry mom. It’s not pretty, and it feels shameful. We have our sweet little cherubs who we would die for, and yet – we’re lashing out, yelling, and want to be alone. 

Who wants to share that with anyone? 

But, mamas – let me say this with all the love in my heart for you. Your anger might just be anxiety. 

You’re scared. You’re worried. Your mind is racing 24/7 and Paw Patrol is playing on an endless loop in the background while you try to work from home. 

How can you not be anxious? It’s normal. Especially right now. 

But, here’s the thing I want you to understand – that anxiety can equal rage. 

I know that because that’s what happens for me. 

Women in general have a lot on their plates, but throw in a pandemic and homeschooling, and zero grandparents or friends to send your kids to, and women have the right to be mad. Angry, even. 

Now, I’m not advocating for taking this out on our kids. I’m advocating for acknowledging that we need a little extra help and grace right now. 

We need help from our fellow mamas and we can get that by being honest about what we’re feeling. 

We need help from our partners that might need someone to say – HEY! I’m drowning here. 

We need help from society to give us some damn grace and let us know it’s OK to fall apart. And gasp – be a little pissed off at everything that’s going on around us right now. 

Moms want nothing more than a safe, and happy, and peaceful world for their babies. 

And to be honest? 2020 doesn’t feel much like that right now. 

If you’re feeling extra angry and you can’t figure out why – replace that word angry with anxious. Ask yourself if that’s really it. And if it is? Tell someone. Your mental health right now matters. And it’s possible to get help. Whether it be through medication, therapy, or just telling a well-trusted friend. 

You’re still a good mama if you’re angry. 

And, we get it  – there’s plenty to be angry about right now. 

 

 


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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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