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Anxiety Mental Health

9 Powerful Phrases To Say To A Narcissist

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Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging and emotionally draining. They have a tendency to manipulate, control, and put down those around them. However, setting boundaries with a narcissist is crucial, as it can help you protect your emotional well-being and prevent them from taking advantage of you.

What is the definition of a narcissist? 

Narcissistic people exist everywhere, but it’s important to understand that many people have narcissistic traits, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they have personality disorders that would classify them as a narcissist. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be defined according to the DSM-5 as, “a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy per the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5).”

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental illness that needs to be taken seriously.

It is characterized by self-centeredness, grand ideas that lack reality, trying to control other people, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, and the need to control others. They usually only care about themselves, and create unhealthy dynamics and toxic relationships. The best option in dealing with a narcissist is to learn ways to interact that won’t escalate emotions and create more unhealthy dynamics. 

The best way to set boundaries with a narcissist is by using specific phrases that clearly communicate your needs and expectations.

These phrases can help you stay grounded and assertive in your interactions with a narcissist, without getting drawn into their manipulative tactics. Narcissistic individuals don’t usually care too much about your feelings, and what is best for you, so the best thing you can do is to figure out how to draw firm boundaries with these toxic people, and avoid succumbing to their manipulation tactics. You can do this by coming up with some good comebacks to always have on hand that will help diffuse the situation. 

​Narcissists thrive on conflict

It’s important to remember that clear boundaries are the only way to break their patterns of behavior. If all else fails, walking away my be the only option. When you’re an empathic person in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, you’re in danger of losing your sense of self. Victims of narcissistic abuse have low self-esteem and struggle to get out of the narcissistic relationship because they don’t feel strong enough to do so. 

However, you are stronger than you think, and despite their narcissistic tendencies, narcissists can and should be shut down with common phrases that take the control away from them and gives it back to you. But, even if you’re not dealing with a narcissist, and just need some everyday language to deal with difficult people in your life, these phrases can help you best set healthy boundaries and start the healing process of finding your way back to your true self that deserves to be in a good relationship. 

So, what are the best boundary-setting phrases to say to a narcissist? Here are eight phrases to consider:

“I’m not comfortable with that.”

This simple phrase can be used in a variety of situations. If a narcissist is trying to push you to do something you’re not comfortable with, or if they are invading your personal space, saying “I’m not comfortable with that” can help you communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively.

“I need some space right now.”

If a narcissist is overwhelming you with their demands, or if you simply need a break from their constant negativity, saying “I need some space right now” can be an effective way to set boundaries. This phrase communicates that you’re not willing to tolerate their behavior at the moment, and that you need some time to yourself.

“I’m not interested in discussing this any further.”

Narcissists can be incredibly persistent when they want something, and they often try to wear down their targets with endless arguments and debates. If you find yourself getting drawn into a never-ending discussion with a narcissist, saying “I’m not interested in discussing this any further” can help you cut off the conversation and assert your boundaries.

“I can’t do that right now.”

Narcissists often try to push their targets into doing things for them, whether it’s running errands, doing favors, or taking on extra responsibilities. Or maybe it’s just simply taking advantage of your kindness. Saying “I can’t do that right now” can help you communicate that you’re not willing to be their servant, or the person they dump on, and that you have your own priorities and responsibilities to attend to.

“I don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to me.”

Narcissists often use verbal abuse as a way to control and manipulate those around them. If you’re on the receiving end of their insults, put-downs, or condescending remarks, saying “I don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to me” can help you assert your boundaries and communicate that their behavior is not acceptable.

“That’s not okay with me.”

If a narcissist is trying to guilt-trip you, manipulate you, or cross a boundary that you’re not comfortable with, saying “That’s not okay with me” can help you stand up for yourself and communicate your needs clearly. This phrase asserts that you have a right to your own feelings and boundaries, and that the narcissist’s behavior is not acceptable.

“I need you to stop doing that.”

Narcissists often try to control and manipulate those around them by using passive-aggressive tactics, such as giving you the silent treatment or withholding affection. If you’re on the receiving end of these tactics, saying “I need you to stop doing that” can help you assert your boundaries and communicate that their behavior is not acceptable.

“I’m going to hang up/leave now.”

If a narcissist is pushing your buttons or trying to draw you into an argument, saying “I’m going to hang up/leave now” can be an effective way to cut off the conversation and protect your emotional well-being. This phrase communicates that you’re not willing to engage with their manipulative tactics any further.

Narcissists thrive on conflict and what they really want is for your to continue to engage with them in order to fuel the fire. An exit strategy out of a conversation that is going in circle is a great way to take away what they really want – all the attention and control. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way.”

 While this may seem like letting the narcissist win, it’s actually a great way to end a conversation with a narcissist that is giving you a hard time, or making the situation all about them without considering your feelings. But, if you can shut it down, while making the narcissist feel like you’ve heard them, you have a better chance of getting our of an emotional roller coaster with one of these master manipulators. 

Setting boundaries with a narcissist is essential for your emotional well-being. 

Using specific phrases to say to a narcissist can help you communicate your needs and expectations clearly and assertively. These phrases can help you stay grounded and protect yourself from the manipulation and control of a narcissist.

However, it’s important to keep in mind that setting boundaries with a narcissist is often easier said than done. Narcissists are skilled at pushing people’s buttons, and they often react negatively when their targets try to assert their boundaries. They may try to guilt-trip you, manipulate you, or use other tactics to get their way.

Narcissists may even get others to help them in reaching their goals. So watch out for their flying monkeys.  To be honest, even the best phrases to say to a narcissist go unheard by them. 

It’s important to be prepared for the possibility of a negative reaction from the narcissist when you set your boundaries. 

You may need to restate your boundaries several times, and you may need to be firm and assertive in order to get your point across. And, the most important thing is that you have to stick to your boundaries every single time you are dealing with the family member or friend that might be the narcissist. 

Setting boundaries with a narcissist is not a one-time event though, so it’s good to have a bunch of phrases to say to a narcissist when they push those boundaries. 

You will likely need to continue asserting your boundaries on an ongoing basis, as narcissists have a tendency to test and push their targets’ limits.

Finally, it’s important to take care of yourself emotionally when dealing with a narcissist. 

Setting boundaries can be emotionally draining, and it’s important to have a support system in place to help you through the process. This may include friends, family, or a therapist who can provide you with emotional support and help you stay grounded in the face of the narcissist’s manipulation.

Setting boundaries with a narcissist and having these phrases to say to a narcissist on hand when they are actively trying to manipulate and control you is an essential step in protecting your emotional well-being.

So, next time your narcissistic parents, family, or friends tries to trap you with a manipulative tactic, or abusive conversation, just know that you can take your power back by simply disengaging, holding strong to your own personal boundaries, and using these phrases to get you out of that abusive relationship. 


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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Meredith Ethington
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This was my mom’s desk when she was little. At s This was my mom’s desk when she was little. At some point it got passed down to one of her grandchildren. Then it made its way to my house and all three of my kids have used it too. 
My middle decided he was done with it and I had no idea what to do with it. It’s almost an antique at this point and I knew my mom felt sentimental about it. It’s heavy and tiny but it has good bones as they say. 
My mom lives too far away to come get it and the grandkids are all getting too big to want this desk in their rooms. 
I walked around my little house looking for a spot for it. There really isn’t one. 
Could it be an end table? Or swapped out for an entry table? 
But then I walked into my bedroom and saw this bare wall. It’s not ideal. My husband will hate it. But I’ve been thinking that I needed a study spot in my house (in a room with a door that shuts and locks) since I’m in school again at 46 years old. 
I’m hilariously too big for this little desk but also it seems just fine for sitting and writing papers. 
The older I get, the more I realize that this life is short and I’m sure it will make my mom happy to know I’m not only hanging onto this desk a little while longer but it’s going to be used for actual school work again instead of hoarding useless scraps of paper, half filled notebooks and dull crayons no one has touched in years. 
I’m breathing life back into this desk for a few more years and it seems symbolic of my taking something old (me) and using it for something new (becoming a therapist). 
I’m not super sentimental about furniture but I’m sentimental about the people that I love. 
She loves this desk so I guess I’ll love it a little longer on her behalf. ❤️
🚨Vulnerable post alert! My latest on substack: 🚨Vulnerable post alert! My latest on substack: "I feel depressed that it’s back, when I had been handling things so well.
I feel hopeless that although I know it will end, that it will come back again.
I feel embarrassed that I’m sometimes mean to the ones I love most.
I feel like I want to give up.
I feel tired.
I feel overwhelmed by the tiniest thing.
I feel alone. I feel like I’m literally the only one feeling that way in that moment even though I know I’m not deep down. But, anxiety makes me feel like that.
I feel like I just would be better off if I could disappear."
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Just like building muscles in our body, to have go Just like building muscles in our body, to have good mental health we need to build muscles in our brains as well. What does that look like? 

For me, it often looks like practicing things that make me uncomfortable. 
Saying no. Setting boundaries. Sitting in discomfort with feelings I don't like. Being OK if someone is mad at me. Learning to validate MYSELF. You get the idea. 
But, really it can be anything that you need to work on but makes you feel REALLY uncomfortable. So much so that it feels like your brain is literally rejecting it. If you want to build that muscle in your brain that is OK with disappointing people in favor of your own mental health, you have to treat it like muscle building in your body. 

1. Do it often enough. 
2. Start small, and work your way up. 
3. Go heavy when you're ready. 

Practicing it often enough is really when you're going to get big results. Soon you'll get used to those negative feelings that come along with telling someone no and knowing they're disappointed. You'll build up endurance to tolerate the feelings and be able to sit with them and let them go. And finally, it will become second nature to you to do all those things you didn't think you could do. Just like strength training for a marathon - consider strength training for your mind. 

One thing I'm working on is telling myself I'm OK. I struggle with seeking validation from others when really I need to be seeking validation from myself. Because MYSELF is good, worthy, and OK 99% of the time. 

What are you practicing right now? I'd love to hear if this is true for you.
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