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By Meredith Ethington

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Inspiration Motherhood Parenting Perfection

10 Things Every Parent is Doing Right

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You know those posts that tell you, 10 Mistakes You’re Making as a Parent, or 5 Ways to be a Better Mom? Well, forget those. I’m tired of those getting shared to motivate us to be better. I am good enough. So are you.  

All parents are getting something right, and I think we need more positivity spread that is realistic, achievable, and just plain honest. Maybe you think you aren’t doing anything right? My guess is you probably are.

So here’s my list of 10 Things Every Parent is Doing Right. Share it with someone you love.

 

You sacrifice yourself. Daily.

Every mom and dad does it. Whether you work or stay home, or whatever. It doesn’t matter. Moms (and dads) sacrifice themselves. Their bodies. Their peace of mind. Their personal space. We all sacrifice something. Why is this a good thing? Because sacrifice helps us grow. It helps us become less selfish. And, we learn to serve. Service is a good thing.

You also take time for yourself.

This one seems to contradict the last one. Yet, it’s SO important. If you’re doing this, you’re doing something right. Letting someone else hold the baby while you take a nap? You’re taking care of yourself so you can be better later.

You’re also teaching your children you’re human. Girls night out? Perfect. You’re re-filling your soul and reminding yourself that you are more than just a milk machine. You’re a human being that likes to laugh at stupid stuff with your friends, and then come home and appreciate your babies more.

You feed your children.

Mac and cheese or all organic? It doesn’t matter, really. I recently told my kids that we had cheese on our broccoli almost every time when I was growing up. They thought that was weird.

I told them it was VELVEETA and they didn’t even know what that was. I was proud.

But, then I fed them mac and cheese for lunch. If you feed your kid breast milk, or formula, you’re doing a good job. If you make your own baby food, or buy it, you’re good. You’re giving sustenance and feeding another human being!! You’re getting it right. Because, hello. You’re feeding them and they are growing.

You clothe your children.

Maybe they stepped out of a Baby Gap ad, or maybe you are lucky if you remembered underwear. Either way, you wrestle tiny bodies into clothing so that they don’t go out into the world baring everything. Booties are covered and feet have shoes on them, so you’re protecting your kids from serious injury. Every day. Good job, mom and dad.

You manage a household.

Maybe you haven’t changed the sheets in 3 months, or maybe your house runs like a well-oiled machine. Doesn’t matter, really. Either way, running a house takes immense amounts of effort and work.

If you manage to do laundry often enough that a kid doesn’t look like an orphaned child, then it sounds like you’re doing a good job. If your house looks like a pottery barn kids catalog, good for you! Tell me your secrets, please? Are you cleaning the bathrooms at 2 am?

You play with your kids.

Maybe you hate make believe. But, trust me, if you’re a mom, you’re probably playing with your kids. Maybe you read with them, or take them to the park, or watch movies while you cuddle. You don’t have to play barbies for it to count that you’ve played with them. I have to really be in the mood to play with my kids in the make believe kind of way.

I do it, sometimes. But sometimes? I keep it simple. We play a game while we’re eating dinner, or I teach them how to cook. Whatever you do with your kids that is even slightly fun (which most things are for kids), count it. Spending time with them is what matters.

You Celebrate Magic.

When you’re a parent, you’ve got a lot on your plate when it comes to this one. The Easter Bunny, Christmas, the tooth fairy. It’s all so exhausting. Let’s not even talk about that little elf on the shelf. Whatever it is you do, if you’ve got kids, you’re celebrating magic. Maybe it’s not fictional characters.

Maybe you walk slowly around the block and let them inspect every leaf and rock. Childhood is the best time to believe in magical things, and even if your elf on the shelf doesn’t wrap the toilet in toilet paper or some other crazy escapade, if you’re helping your kids believe in something magical or letting them enjoy the little things, you’re doing it right.

You sometimes don’t screw up.

Sure there are plenty of times you do, but we’re not talking about those. We’re talking about the times you get it right. Like the time that your kid told you about his science fair project the night before and somehow you stayed up late when you were TOTALLY exhausted and helped him put it together.

We’re talking about the times you did stay calm and didn’t yell. The time you actually remembered that it was crazy hair day at school. If you kept a running total, you’d probably realize, that you don’t screw up just as often (if not more) than you do.

You’re a teacher.

I underestimated this as a parent. Not only do we teach them basic things like eating, talking, walking…SLEEPING, but we have to teach them crazy stuff too. Like, why licking the pavement is not OK, and why we don’t peek under the door of the bathroom stall next to us in a public restroom.

You have to teach them not to interrupt, how to be a good friend, and how to be a responsible, respectful, kind human being. As a parent, you have to teach E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. So, good job for being a teacher of all things common and crazy. You’re probably doing it right.

You’re surviving.

In the trenches is a term I keep hearing thrown around a lot. But, let me tell you, some days it definitely feels like I’m in the trenches. Last night, I got no sleep. OK, maybe like two hours. But, today, I accomplished 25,000 things. If you’re a parent, then you’re putting one foot in front of the other and getting stuff done even when you want to hide under the covers.

And, let’s face it, days turn into weeks, months, and then years. And before you know it, you realize that you WILL come out alive on the other end despite the sleep deprivation, and the extra 20 lbs. you put on eating your kids’ leftover mac and cheese. So, good job for surviving. You’re almost there.

Parenting is hard. Some days it sucks, and yes, some days we mess up. But, remember the most important thing, you’re doing the best you can, and YOU are the best parent for your kids. So, you’re probably doing it right. No matter how your friend, neighbor, or enemy might be doing it different.

Need some more encouragement to know you’re getting things right? Read these posts: 

I’m a Great Mom. I Just Yell A Little.

I Wonder What Mother They Will Remember

To The Moms Fighting All The Battles That No One Sees

 

 


22 Comments

« I’m So Fancy. I’m a Stay At Home Mom.
The Secret to Feeling Happy as a Mom »

Comments

  1. Sylva Fae says

    October 16, 2014 at 5:28 am

    Thanks for that! I just remembered to pay for the school trips, managed to get 3 kids to school on time with PE kits and packed lunches and signed the reading books – feeling like a supermum right now while I relax in my messy house contemplating coffee versus washing up. Coffee wins.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 16, 2014 at 8:30 am

      Good for you! 🙂 It’s amazing how little we appreciate our accomplishments, huh?

      Reply
  2. Ashley Austrew says

    October 16, 2014 at 9:07 am

    YES. Awesome post, lady.

    Reply
  3. Kim says

    October 16, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    Great list 🙂

    My creativity seems to be shot for the day, but somehow remembering to cuddle the kids ought to be on the list, right?

    Reply
  4. Ana Lynn says

    October 17, 2014 at 4:51 am

    Great post and just what I needed to hear today. Thanks for this Meredith!

    Reply
  5. Tracey Tobin says

    October 17, 2014 at 7:46 am

    Love this post! It’s so nice to see something like this instead of the waves of “You’re Doing Everything Wrong!” posts that we usually see! Awesome job, Meredith. 🙂

    Reply
  6. Brittany says

    October 19, 2014 at 10:54 pm

    I loved this, Meredith. And I can totally relate… my boys’ sheets very rarely get changed… and I hate make believe! But there’s a lot I do that I can feel good about… despite the many things I don’t do. That’s why I love your posts. You always seem to know the right thing to say.

    Hope you enjoyed UEA!

    Brittany

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 20, 2014 at 2:40 pm

      Thanks Brittany! Such a nice comment. 🙂

      Reply
  7. Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. says

    October 20, 2014 at 12:13 pm

    I. Love. This. So inspiring and comforting- thank you SO much for the lift today! xo

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 20, 2014 at 2:40 pm

      You’re welcome! 🙂

      Reply
  8. Chris Carter says

    October 20, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    AMEN TO THIS!!!! Grace grace and MORE grace… and praise for us moms for being the best we can possibly be for our children. Best never equals perfect!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 20, 2014 at 4:26 pm

      Thank goodness! 🙂

      Reply
  9. Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says

    October 20, 2014 at 5:07 pm

    Great post! I was just talking with some women today about how we get “lost” in motherhood and forget how important our jobs are and that we don’t have to be spectacular at it every single minute. Sometimes, it’s the little things that make a big difference.

    Reply
  10. Kristi Campbell says

    October 20, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    So loving this. I have a neighbor who makes me feel like crap all the time because she’s crazy. Thank you!!!

    Reply
  11. Rachael Boley says

    October 20, 2014 at 9:25 pm

    I love this a lot! Great post!!! Its easy to let the world tell you you’re doing things wrong, but as you said, we’re really doing more right and that’s what matters!!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 20, 2014 at 9:43 pm

      Thanks Rachael. That means a lot! 🙂

      Reply
  12. Jules B. says

    February 4, 2015 at 1:14 pm

    I love this! So true! It was so good to read that taking time for ourselves is the right thing. Often when I do, I feel immense guilt. In reality, I should probably try to take a bit more. I’ve been contemplating parenthood a lot lately. My parenting. Other’s parenting. Reading this strengthened the recent #Mommitment I’ve made, so much! Thank you. I found this on HuffPo, but wanted to comment both places. It is a wonderful piece. Thank you.

    Reply
  13. Sarah says

    January 8, 2016 at 7:26 am

    Love this!

    Reply
  14. Sea shell says

    April 27, 2016 at 7:29 am

    The ONLY thing I believe I may be good at is being a mom. Horrible at everything else. Literally spend hours in bed hiding while only child is at school and hubby is at work. Waiting for her to get home so I can spend my energy on her. Laundry in the hampers overflowing. Last nights supper dishes shoved in oven because I cannot bring myself to empty clean dishwasher. Crumbs on floor from the weekend her friends playing outside running in and out with cookies. Beds don’t know what it is to be made. What’s that? I have chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic migraines, IBS, polycystic ovarian disease, and chronic back. Not any use to anyone. Must save my energy for the truly important persons in my life, my daughter. She fills me with an energy I cannot explain. Life, joy, happiness and real love.

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
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But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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