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By Meredith Ethington

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What It Felt Like Having Postpartum Anxiety & How The Owlet Smart Sock Can Give Parents Peace of Mind

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This post is sponsored by Owlet. You can see my full disclosure and privacy policy here. I like to talk openly about mental health issues, because it heals me. It helps me to connect with others who are struggling, and it also helps me when I’m struggling. I’ve written before about my struggles with anger and anxiety, why I take medication, and also what it’s like to have OCD.

I’ve also admitted that my struggles with anxiety doesn’t negate the fact that I know I’m really REALLY blessed. I have a house full of blessings in fact that prove that fact. But, I realized, I never really have told the story of how I first realized something wasn’t quite right. And, that I needed help. It started during the postpartum period with my first child. I was a mess. Can you see how tired I looked?

My struggle with anxiety was exacerbated by motherhood

In college, before marriage and kids, I had an anxiety attack once. I was labeled a worrier in my family growing up as a kid. And, I frequently had meltdowns over being late somewhere, or worrying about the what ifs. But, it wasn’t until I became a mom, that everything multiplied by like a thousand. And, frankly, I haven’t been the same since.

I vividly remember (and don’t remember) a lot about those early months after having a baby. One of my earliest memories was a night that I sat awake staring at my baby, convinced that something was going to happen to her. Blame it on the lack of sleep I was getting, or the new mom jitters, but it was way worse than that. I watched her chest rise and fall even though I was quite literally hanging on by a thread due to no sleep of my own.

I remember my post-partum anxiety made me terrified.

My anxiety enabled me to imagine terrifying scenarios such as tripping when I was holding her, or forgetting to check on her. I became hyper-vigilant. I had a hard time even letting my husband do anything because I was so worried something would happen.

I couldn’t let her out of my site without panicky feelings and I was terrified to leave the house with her for fear something would happen.

I didn’t really tell anyone about all of these thoughts I was having. Because they were ugly. And dark. And scary.

What kind of mother imagines the worst thing happening to her baby all the time? 

I had Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

The truth is – I cried a lot too. For about four months in fact. I was weepy. I had the baby blues. But, I had never done this before. I chalked it up to hormones, and waited it out without help. I never told a soul about the dark thoughts I was having. I didn’t really know any better at the time.

The chapter on postpartum depression and anxiety wasn’t really my favorite to read in the What To Expect books on parenting.

And, then the fog of new motherhood started to lift and I stopped crying so much. And, that’s when I realized I had postpartum depression. But, the truth is, I think my postpartum anxiety was even more debilitating because it never allowed me to relax into motherhood like I wanted to.

I was quite literally a mess of epic proportions that didn’t sleep and I felt like I could never let my guard down. It was exhausting.

There is help though for postpartum depression and anxiety

Fast forward to my second and third pregnancies and I definitely felt like I had a better handle on what I was doing. I was aware of the warning signs of postpartum mental health issues, and I had a better grasp on how to help myself and how to control my own thoughts. Years later, last year to be exact, I was diagnosed with Generalize Anxiety Disorder and OCD. I take medication and have spent a year in therapy to work on my mental health issues and I’m doing so much better.

I wish I would have gotten help from the beginning.

There is no shame in talking about these issues, and there is no shame in getting help. Reach out to your doctor if you’re struggling, or a friend, or a spouse – or ALL THREE.

One thing I’ve learned is that my own mental health affects my kids, so I want to do everything in my power to take back control and have a healthy mind and body.

So, if you too are struggling with some of these thoughts and feelings – seek help from a professional. Now.

The Owlet Smart Sock Is Another Thing That Can Help New Moms

While not every mom has extreme symptoms like I do, we all worry about our kids. The newborn phase is tough, and we all want the best for our new baby. That’s one reason why I love companies like Owlet. They are helping moms everywhere have more peace of mind in those early months of mothering.

While Owlet cannot prevent postpartum anxiety, depression, or SIDS in those early weeks, they can help the new mom have a little bit more peace of mind and feel like she can monitor her baby more closely than she could do on her own.

The Owlet Smart Sock uses technology called pulse oximetry to track your baby’s heart rate and oxygen levels, and is designed to notify parents via a nearby Base Station and their smartphone if those levels fall outside the preset zones. The Smart Sock fits babies 0-18 months, or up to 25 pounds. Recent research, published in the peer-reviewed medical journal Global Pediatric Health, revealed that 96% of parents who use the Smart Sock report feeling less anxiety and 94% say they have better quality sleep.

LESS ANXIETY is what I needed in those early months. My case was extreme of course, and not all moms have those fears like I did. But, those early weeks of worry will always stick out in my memory. I wish this technology had been around when I was a new parent. Just for a little extra peace of mind.

What I love about Owlet is that they were started by parents just like you and me. They are in Utah (like me!) and started in 2013 with a mission to empower parents.

Feeling empowered was not what I was feeling back in 2006 when I was scared of everything. Being a new mom is overwhelming to say the least. But, with Owlet, you can feel a little more in control by being able to monitor your baby’s heart rate and oxygen levels. How amazing is that?

And, what better way to get a little peace of mind than to feel like you will be notified if oxygen levels and heart rates are outside the preset ranges. Check out their mission and their website, and most of all – if you’re struggling, don’t struggle alone. Get help, and reach out to people who love you.

I promise it will be OK.

 


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  1. Jeannie says

    July 27, 2018 at 10:14 am

    I feel like you just wrote every thought I’ve ever had in the past 2 1/2 years since my daughter was born. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression my entire life but after becoming a mother it became consuming and unmanageable. I finally got on medication because I owe it to my little girl to be the best version of myself I can possibly be. I still face challenges but it’s made a world of difference. Thank you so much for this post! To say “I can relate” is an understatement.

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

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perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
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New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
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I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

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Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
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But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
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Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

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"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

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Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
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