Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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Humor Parenting Practical Tips

25 Times As a Parent When It’s OKAY Not To Enjoy Every Second

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As sweet as it is to say, “Enjoy every second!” to a young mom, it’s just cruel. Because, no. Just no.

There are some parts of being a parent that are impossible to enjoy.

Some moments you can’t enjoy every second. Some are just meant to be endured, and that’s OK.

Because one day we will have momnesia and want these crazy times back in our lives.

But, until then, here are 25 Times As a Parent When It’s OKAY Not To Enjoy Every Second

When my kids fight over a certain color of anything. No matter how much I reason that water does not, in fact, taste any different out of blue cups than red ones, the wrath of 3 kids is not worth it. Save your sanity and buy everything the same color. In fact, teach your children there are no other colors.

When my tween screams, rolls her eyes and slams the door in my face because I asked her to put her shoes away.

Standing in line at Target while my 4-year-old convinces me he needs every variety of gum, mints, and a candy bar while I chit chat with a cashier about how great today is. And when I say no 4,322 times, he moves on to ask for something ridiculous like a pack of batteries.

I can’t enjoy every second when my Threenager refuses exactly what they asked me for.

Waking up in the middle of the night because someone wants me to pick up their stuffed animal for them.

Awkward conversations when someone implies your parenting sucks and you want to just yell, “YOU DON’T KNOW ME!” but they actually do, and you bite your tongue instead. Then I lay in bed and think of three comebacks later when I’m trying to finally fall asleep at the end of the day.

Getting kids ready for bed.

Common core math homework.

The circus act that is grocery shopping with all three kids.

Going to IKEA. With or without kids it’s not good. Even when you learn the shortcuts, you still manage to get enough steps on your fit bit that someone might think you’ve started training for a marathon. And you’re like, no just trying to find a cheap, black picture frame that I could literally buy anywhere else.

The first time one of my kids said, “I hate you.”

When babies can only roll over one way.

Babies are cute and adorable, but it sucks when they can only roll over to their bellies and then scream like it’s all your fault that they have to eat hair off your carpet for a few minutes while you try to finish vacuuming.

Blowouts.

When kids throw up and you think it’s a good idea to catch it.

When you decide it’s a good idea to keep your kids up past their bedtime, and the whole next day is a disaster involves telling kids that they are just tired when they are convinced that you are out to make their lives absolutely miserable.

Packing lunches.

Opening packages of graham crackers.

If I didn’t have kids, I would not buy those just for the packaging that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Traveling with sick kids.

Being stuck in the car with a screaming kid. It’s kind of like being stuck with a bee in your car, except with the bee you could roll down the window and flick it out if he gets close. Spoiler alert, you can’t do that with kids.

Potty training.

That time my husband and I separated at the mall so the kids could ride a train, and when we found each other again, both kids had puked all over him. We both spent the night passing each other in the hall helping our children throw up all night.

Kids arguing just to argue.

Living in daily fear of a head lice invasion in your home.

That time I found poop sitting on my bedroom floor and no one claimed it.

Hearing myself repeat something 283 times because no one is listening.

Thank goodness for the sweet moments, because that is what keeps me going. Don’t let anyone say you have to enjoy every moment of parenthood. Yes, it goes by fast, but we’ll just keep enjoying the parts of the ride that we do like thank you very much.

More on Being a Parent while Not Enjoying Every Single Moment of it:

  • I Was Counting Down The Seconds Until This Season Of Parenting. But, It’s Lonely.
  • I Love You But You Also Infuriate Me – A Parenting Story
  • 5 Things Every Parent of 3 (or more) Kids Knows for Sure

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25 Times as a parent when it's okay not to enjoy every second


4 Comments

« I Was Counting Down The Seconds Until This Season Of Parenting. But, It’s Lonely.
20 Kid Activities To Do Indoors When The Weather Is Bad »

Comments

  1. alr says

    August 31, 2016 at 8:04 pm

    In the past I would have agreed with this. But since December 2013, I can’t.
    https://therealityofeverythingsite.wordpress.com/2016/07/17/that-week-in-december/

    I have since come to believe that It’s all beautiful, even when it’s not. Because you never know when it can be taken away from you.

    This is not to say that there are not lots of times when I want to scream my head off. Because there are. Kids can be CRAZY. And mine sometimes make me crazy.

    What’s going on with common core homework?

    xxoo

    Reply
  2. alr says

    August 31, 2016 at 8:07 pm

    I should clarify. What I was meaning to convey was, after watching this family go through what they did, I would rather deal w/ these 25 things any day than what happened to them.

    Reply
  3. Jenny @ Unremarkable Files says

    September 7, 2016 at 11:36 am

    Yes to all of the above! That’s why it’s good to have a blog. You can write a blog post about it and laugh instead of putting a wanted ad for your replacement in the paper and running away.

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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